Head in the clouds.

Chapter Eighteen.

The peace lasted longer than expected it be, the people on the street were no longer annoying screams but had faded out into a low hum and the occasional camera flashes from behind closed curtains. Every time Cara's eyes fluttered in her sleep my heart skipped a beat, with my arms now wrapped around her waist and her head gently rested on my chest, the world stood still. My eyelids slowly fell and my fluttering heartbeat slowed.

My mind lured me into a dream despite my desperate need for a night of complete emptiness. My hair was long enough to brush against my shoulders, giving me the sensation of spiders crawling across my skin. It felt like the beginning of summer but around me snowflakes fell one by one, melting cleanly to the dark ground. My stinging hands were dug firmly into my back pockets, I withdrew them holding them in front of me like a weapon I wasn't sure how to use. Scarlet blood pooled at the edge of my fingertips and my nails were cracked and broken. Throwing off my jacket I used the white edge of my sleeve to wipe away the visible pain. Red stained white until the material was no longer pure. That's when the cold came, washing over me almost instantly. Goosebumps rose on the surface of my skin and much like the stinging of my hands, my arms felt that exact way. Looking down at myself the damage was clear, stretched across the length of my forearms were words stained a tragic red. Every bad word that had ever danced across my tongue was now dug into my pale skin. My body couldn't process anything other than the overwhelming pain; I buckled to my knees as a shadow walked in front of me slowly approaching my frail figure. Cara stood before me looking just as exhausted as she had been when she was leaning against the kitchen counter. Her arms were littered with words just like mine, only with every step she took a letter would fade and the wound would heal of its own accord. She towered over me her face blank, eyes wide and blackened from sleep deprivation. She lowered her hand as if for me to take it but the pain kept them forced to my side.

"Sometimes the things in your head show up on your body." She said it simply as if I was supposed to know what it meant; my mind latched onto the image of Cara laid down in bed her eyes closing tight, unable to move without a moan of effort.

That was my fault.

That's what I was trying to tell myself, everything she was feeling was because I left her alone thinking she needed space when in actual fact she was drowning. I couldn't leave her, I didn't want to anymore.

I woke up to an empty bed; the sheets were shifted so that they were thrown back on her side. She had got up in a rush. I got up, groaned and rubbed my hip from where the band of my jeans had indented my skin. I hated sleeping in normal clothes, but last night that thought had never even entered my mind. I skulked into the kitchen, which was completely empty and then made my way through the rest of her apartment. She was nowhere to be seen. Not sure what else to do I went to the front door to leave, but just as I secured my grip onto the handle the voices from outside became clear.

"Cara kiss him!"

"Cara over here, do you think it will last?"

"You guys look great together; can you wrap your arms around his waist?"

She was out there with him, posing for the cameras like it was all real. Anger flared within me at the thought of them being able to kiss in public but we never would. My hand threw open the door and before I could stop myself, her lips were connected to mine. For the first time in three days the street outside Cara's apartment was dead silent. I moved back leaving a content smile playing on her lips. Just as quickly as the silence had fallen it erupted into a hurricane of noise, people screaming and shouting questions in our general direction like we weren't real people. One or two bystanders straggling at the edge of the mob clapped with bemused expressions on their faces. Somewhere between the point of me getting out the door and kissing Cara the 'fake' boyfriend, whose name I was yet to learn, had been forced into crowd and was standing as still as a statue simply staring. He was probably wondering if he was still going to be paid now this whole charade had been ruined. I looked at Cara unable to cope with anything over then her. I wasn't actually sure how she was reacting, I turned to face her expecting a slap or maybe a stern expression, but it wasn't either of those. The moment my eyes landed on hers a huge smile spread freely across her face and she moved impossible closer to me slowly allowing her lips to once again meet mine.

After the kiss we went back inside. The police eventually came and cleared away the people from the street, so that we were free to leave. I never wanted to leave again.