Disclaimer: If you are someone who gets easily triggered, please do not read past this point.
Pls excuse any errors.
_____________________________
31.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
3 months ago
Silence is the loudest thing I have ever heard. In an audience full of rowdy souls and the highest of pitches, my hearing tends to calmly fall short. But heartbreak? Heartbreak is the most painful thing I've ever had to endure. My darkest thoughts consume me as my heart turns into a mass crisp of ice. I don't feel, I don't seek, I don't progress.
If I thought I was broken before, I'm definitely shattered in the deep pits of loneliness and silence. I hide my sadness behind a fraudulent smile, but the pain is endless and fails to travel elsewhere, not for awhile as it's taken ahold of my vacant soul.
Behind my dry, tired eyes is a flowing waterfall of pain. I'm gasping for air, screaming and shouting but these tidal waves are attempting to drown me out.
I'm so sorry my love, I let you down. I was selfish, tactless and greedy. I doubt that I'm the only one drowning in the deep hollows of perils. I just pray you're surrounded by serenity and nirvana because unbeknownst, you were so deserving of better. Better than the lazy love I had to offer you.
It completely devastates me knowing I'm the sole factor of your hurt and suffering. I ask God to protect you in my absence as I don't deserve your tears, streaming effortlessly out of your flawless, hazel globes.
I pray our souls meet again, freeing from the compensation of our thoughts and pride. Our love is smitten and stronger than we'll ever be. It's a force—a source of power. Our love was written in the most winsome of ink.
Deep down, in the crevice of my blood pumping heart, I know that one day, we'll make our way back.
••••
"To declare that Beyoncé was highly pissed at me that I had forgotten our anniversary, would be an understatement. She was seething and I was deserving of every degree of her scolding.
We had a huge fight and she couldn't even bare to focus her eyes upon me. I would have probably reacted to the the same extent. How could something so important, slip so aimlessly from my mind?
I feel like our relationship has demoted itself back to square one and I take full responsibility for that. If—I still have some sort of a 'relationship' at all.."
Deep down in my spirit, I knew we didn't, I was purposelessly holding on to what we had, watching as my hands leisurely slip from that tiny thought of 'what if'.
