Vulnerability

two: michael

Tori Spring. Tori Spring. Tori Spring. No matter how hard I try, I cannot get Victoria Annabel Spring out of my head. When I learned that Tori has a middle name, I started using it to annoy her. But she wasn't actually that bothered.

It's funny, you don't meet a lot of people like Tori. She is extraordinarily strong, yet so vulnerable at the same time. But the thing is, she would rather die instead of letting you see her vulnerability. And that's what makes her extraordinary because, well she is by herself in her vulnerability. And she believes that being alone is important. And good. And beneficial. It's not. I just wish she would believe me.

It has been a week since the fire at Higgs. I think a lot of the sixth formers will be transferring back to Truham now. Naturally, I am fairly nervous, but I have Tori. It's all going to be fine as long as I have Tori. Today we are meeting up because I insisted on getting her out of her house. Sometimes she just needs a little push to do things. I am here to give her that push. So, here I am waiting at Costa Coffee. That is our meeting place. I'm not sure if we'll actually go in; Tori doesn't like coffee shops that much. She doesn't really like restaurants either. But that's Tori. She doesn't like anything. I finally spot her and wave enthusiastically. I hope one day that if I keep up with my happy and joyful introductions, it will bring a little joy into her life. Even if the joy is based on her making fun of me for my insanely embarrassing greetings. I know it's embarrassing. So does she, probably. But I can only hope it will work.

"Victoria Annabel Spring! How lovely to see you!!" I say, still grinning.

"That's it. I'm leaving." She says and starts to walk away.

I only have to lean a little to grab her arm and stop her. She sighs and rolls her eyes, but turns so she is directly facing me.

"Hey." She says.

"That's more like it!" I say.

"What am I even doing here?" She asks.

"We.." I start. "Are going to get some food, wherever you want, and then we're going skating."

"Michael!" She groans. "I absolutely suck at skating it's embarrassing."

"It's cute!" I laugh. She gives me the middle finger.

We end up having lunch at a small cafe. The reason we went there instead of some place like Nando's or Mcdonald's is because there was only two people in the cafe. There was probably loads of people in Nando's and Mcdonald's. And Tori hates big crowds of people. Tori has a cheese sandwich, she doesn't eat it all though. I have a ham sandwich. Tori tries to make me let her pay, but I refuse so the whole walk to the Ice Rink she glares at me. She thinks I didn't see her. I did.

Once we get inside and get our shoes, we go to the locker room. Tori and I share a locker because we don't have a lot of stuff. I put my shoes on but Tori struggles with her laces so reluctantly she lets me help. When we get onto the ice, she immediately wobbles and almost fall. So I turn on an angle and take her left hand with my left and rest my right hand on her waist. To be honest, I expected her to I don't know, punch me in the face. But she doesn't. She just lets me help her skate.

We go around in a circle a few times, her laughing when she almost falls and I almost fall with her. Honestly I would do anything to make her laugh. She has a pretty laugh. A lot of her is pretty. Her hair, her eyes, her skin, her laugh, her voice, even her tears make her look pretty. She just fails to see it. At one point, Tori ends up slipping. She lets go of my hand though so I manage to not fall with her. I stop and she kind of just sits there until she pulls herself up with my help. Then we just laugh. It's a beautiful moment really. She's stood in front of me, gripping my arms so she won't fall again. And she's laughing. And i'm laughing. And she rests her head on my shoulder, trying to calm herself down. She complains that her stomach hurts, while still laughing by the way. I suggest we go and sit down. Eventually, we stop. The ghost of the laughter is right there, as if it's still happening. Tori grabs my hand and sort of squeezes it.

"Thank you Michael." She whispers.

"You're welcome Tori Spring."

Something makes me just want to hug her. Not in a romantic way, I think. But I just want to hold her. So I do. I feel her tense up a bit when I pull her into my chest, but she relaxes after a few moments. My arms are around her shoulders and she wraps hers around my waist. Victoria Spring is one of those rare people. She sees life as a dull and worthless thing. I used to see it the same. But she changed that for me. With her, I see a whole new world. A brighter place, a happier place. Yeah okay, maybe that is the cheesiest thing I have ever thought. But when it comes to thinking about Victoria, it's all completely true. And worth making myself cringe. She changes my opinion on everything. She makes me believe that my life is actually worth living, and that hating myself as much as i do isn't worth it. She makes me believe in life. And happiness. She is the best thing that has happened to me. And I will always be grateful to her for that.