Vulnerability

10: tori

hihihihi ily all

lets PLEASE ignore the fact that its been 8 months. please.

im actually surprised people read this the first few chapters are kinda cringe LOL (im sorry)

i might go through and edit soon/once ive finished which i DO plan to do, pls bare with me

enjoy ;)

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of self harm

Today is one of those days. I don't want to get out of bed. Charlie came into my room to wake me up earlier. I don't know how long ago it was. It's Saturday, and I should be allowed to stay in bed. But, the universe has other plans for me.

There's a knock on my door, and once again Charlie enters. He walks over and sits on my bed next to me.

"Are you getting up?" He asks.

"No." I mumble. He sighs.

"If it were up to me, I would leave you alone. But there's only so many times mum is going to let me be the one to come up and convince you to get up. I'm saving you here." He laughs. I say nothing.

"Okay. Just remember if I were mum right now, I'd be saying something like 'Victoria! Get up. I'm the one paying for this therapy of yours, and I'm not about to let you waste it. Stop being lazy.' That was the worst mum impression ever, but you get my point." I snort.

"Seems pretty accurate to me." I say. "Ugh, fine." I sit up and chuck the covers on the floor. "What time is it? My phone is off."

"Uh, 11:15." He answers.

"And what time is," I pause and cringe, "Therapy?"

"1." I sigh.

"Great. Okay, I have time for a shower at least." 

***

Once I finished showering, and generally getting ready for the dreaded therapy session, I make my way downstairs where Charlie is waiting with Mum and Dad. Charlie's on the floor with Oliver, playing with his toy tractors. I sit on the sofa next to mum and she looks at me, but doesn't say anything. Dad does, though.

"Are you okay with me driving you today? Your mum would but she has to take Oliver to his own appointment." Oliver has a simple check up with his paediatrician, so mum probably is using that as an excuse to not take me.  Which is like, fine. I'd probably rather her not take me anyway. 

"That's fine." I mumble, before leaving the room to get a drink. 

If I were asked which parent I prefer, and it was like this really important life or death question, I would say dad. Simply because he's not mum. Bossy, pushy, nosey. All the things you can think of. Dad has always been the calmer parent. It doesn't mean he's the better parent though. To be fair, neither mum or dad are the better parent. They never really understand what we tell them. And, if we tell them (mum especially) that they've done something to upset one of us, we're always wrong. Mum once called me a liar when I told her I was offended by her calling me 'not normal'. She said that I was overreacting for attention. So I just try not to care now. 

***

Me and dad leave the house at 12:30. It's roughly a 20 minute drive to the place, which I've never even heard of by the way. He tries to make conversation, and fails horribly. I especially get a strong urge to just jump from the moving car when he brings up Michael. I probably shouldn't tell the therapist person that.