Vulnerability

seven: tori

A/N 1: hii! welcome back to my story (which is very chaotic, may i add). i am SO sorry for the wait for this chapter. It was my birthday Tuesday and overall this week has been kind of chaotic for me anyway. but, i'm back with the longest chapter ive ever written, so that's good. literally though, i had no idea how to end it. so here we are, 3500 words later. 

At the end, there is another note so pls don't skip it.

well i mean you can, its not exactly relevant but blah blah who cares.

anyway, sorry for the wait haha.

I have days where I don't want to get out of bed. To be honest, I think everyone has those days. Charlie has those days a lot too. Anyway, today is one of these days. I have plans with Nick and Charlie to go to a shopping centre. When Charlie asked me to go, my exact words were 'ew', but I agreed anyway. I'm regretting it a lot now.

I'm not sure why I have these days, it just feels like something I can't put together in my head; like a missing piece of a puzzle. Anyway, I'm supposed to be getting up right about now. It's 9:24 am, i'm still in my pyjamas (obviously) and I am barely surviving on two hours of sleep. It's not like it's anything unusual, though.

Charlie comes into my room at 9:30. He sits on my bed next to me. I am lying on my side, my back towards him, so i'm not sure if he knows that I am awake.

Actually, I think he knows. He doesn't say anything to me, or try to wake me up.

I turn over to face him, and he half smiles at me.

"So you are awake then." He says. I just nod.

He doesn't say anything for a few seconds, and then he does.

"Nick says we don't have to go until 11 if it's better for you. The place we're going to
opens at 10 but we can leave at 11." I nod again.

"Um." He says.

"What?" I ask, my voice a little hoarse.

"There's something else. Something I'm not sure you'll like." His voice quietens.

"What?" I sit up. "What is it?"

"Uh. Mum and Dad, they wanted me to tell you." He starts, and then pauses for a few seconds, taking a deep breath. "After the fire, they um, they got you a therapist. They figured it was uh, traumatic for you or whatever, and thought they could help." I don't say anything.

"I know this is like a huge bombshell because you hate people knowing about your life and stuff, and I don't want to overwhelm you or anything, so i'm gonna leave you alone for a bit okay? I'll come and see if you're ready in a bit." He stands up, and goes to leave. He opens my bedroom door before looking back at me.

"Do you want my honest opinion?" He asks.

"Not really." I say. "But go on."

He sighs, and then says, "I think it will be good for you. One thing I learned while talking to a therapist is how to actually talk about my feelings, instead of just stuffing them back inside and pretending everything is fine."

I hate to admit it, and I probably won't ever admit it aloud, but he's right.

He leaves my room and i'm left there alone with my thoughts. I think about the small possibility that what Charlie says is true.

I mean, I guess it's not really a small possibility that it's going to work out, but it's not exactly a big one either.

Charlie and I are different people. And there's the fact that Charlie went to hospital. I think Charlie spending a few months in a psychiatric hospital did him good. And all that time he spent going to therapy. My point is, yes it helped Charlie, but we are not the same. What if it doesn't help me? What if it's just a waste of time and money? What if it makes me feel worse about myself.