TW: LILITH AND IZANAGI BEING TOXIC AND ABUSIVE AS FUCK
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What the fuck is wrong with me?
Why did I give in to Izanagi yesterday?
"I think Jax is cheating on me," Sophia sighs, and I nod.
On top of that, I didn't even get my orgasm. I went back to my room and finished myself off with my rose vibrator, and for the first time since I got it, the orgasm was so dry and unfulfilling.
"What makes you think that?" I shake myself out of my thoughts and try to focus on my best friend.
"Well he came to see me yesterday, and he brought me three bouquets of flowers," she says and I shake my head slowly, not understanding how flowers correlate to cheating. Sure I don't trust Jax at all, especially since I think he's the camouflaged snake, but I am as clueless as it gets when it comes to understanding guys.
"And that's bad, because?" I ask her, waiting for an explanation.
"It feels like he's making up for something he feels guilty about, but doesn't want to tell me," she pouts and I nod.
I seriously cannot believe that I let Izanagi spank me yesterday, and it actually felt good. I can't let anything like that happen between us again. I need to kill him a week ago.
"You killed who?" She whispers horrifyingly and- I said that last sentence out loud... didn't I?
Fuck.
"I didn't kill anyone," I laugh and she sighs in relief. "I said I'd kill Jax if he cheated on you," I half-lie and her expression softens.
"I'm falling for him Lily," she smiles a little, but her eyebrows indicate that she's worried. "I would feel so heartbroken if he hurt me," she sighs and guilt instantly washes over me. I want to ease her mind and tell her that Jax isn't cheating on her, but the truth is so much worse.
I need to get drunk again.
I don't know how to deal with my guilt of keeping this from her and keep her safe at the same time.
"I don't think you have anything to worry about Soph," I say to her, with balled fists under the table. "Maybe he got you all of those flowers because he's falling for you too." The smile that comes on her face is so genuine that I bite my tongue to stop myself from telling her the truth. This is going to eat me up alive.
"You think he could be falling for me too?" She smiles and I nod.
Sophia has always been this naïve. When I first met her, I thought she had some screws loose up there because of how happy she always is, but I've grown to learn that she's always been like this. She's an optimist, a glass-half-full type of person and I'm the person who would throw the glass against the wall because what the fuck am I going to do with a glass that's only half full?
