Lupin the Third: The Del Monte Ruby

Chapter 21

"RUPONNNN!!!!"

There he stood. Inspector Zenigata, his eyes bright with boyish delight as though on the gleam of a Christmas morn. He looked as though he had just spied a particularly desirable present under the tree.

"What? Pops!? You're here, too!?"

Lupin's attempt to pick the lock of the handcuffs Fujiko had slapped on him was instantly thwarted as Zenigata, who, looking like he could already see the grand award he would get for capturing the world's greatest thief, snatched the lock pick as well as his tie clip.

"Bwa-ha-ha! Foiled by Fujiko again, eh, Lupin?" Zenigata tossed the lock pick over his shoulder. Then, after a moment of consideration, he affixed the ruby clip to his own tie. He seemed to have taken a liking to it.

"Hey! That's mine! Give it back, ya thief!"

"All right, get in there!"

The inspector proceeded to manhandle Lupin into the car via the open passenger window, which brought to Lupin the frustrating realization that Fujiko must've known Zenigata was here and intentionally cuffed him to the inspector's car. What an elaborate plan that little mix concocted!

"Ow!" cried Lupin, whose hand was still cuffed to the door handle. "Hey! C'mon, Pops! I'm have a frustrating day already, you don't gotta make it worse! Yeowch!"

Zenigata wasn't listening to any of Lupin's frustrations, nor did he care. Once Lupin was secured, the inspector grinned smugly and decided to reward himself with a congratulatory cigarette. Leaning against the car by Lupin's window, he proceeded to smoke.

"There's no getting out of this one, Lupin. Do you have any idea how serious a kidnapping charge is?" He furrowed his brow thoughtfully, then flicked the lighter closed and tucked it back into his pocket. He drew a puff on the cigarette, then lowered it from his lips as his gaze moved to Lupin.

"Where is the girl, Lupin?"

"Wellll... knowing Fujiko as I know her, by now she's probably kidnapped Ruby, hopped into a motorboat that was inconspicuously tied to the ferry, and is now speeding away to Harp's Head with Ruby as an unwilling passenger. Soooo... while you're distracted with me, Pops, you're just letting Fujiko kidnap Ruby Del Monte all over again." Lupin sighed and shook his head pityingly. "You're just not very good at this, are you, Pops?"

Zenigata looked mildly rattled by this news, but quickly regained composure. "As an Interpol officer, you are my first concern, Lupin. The country's local authorities are also working to find Miss Del Monte, and once I've got you properly locked up, I'll aid them if I can. But if you don't think you're gonna get the book thrown at you this time, guess again. Kidnapping is considered a violent crime in this country."

Lupin put his cheek in his hand and sighed. "A pretty young woman's life is in danger and you're just gonna focus on keeping me under lock and key? I'm flattered, Pops. Really."

"In my estimation, the farther that young girl is from you, Lupin, the safer she is. Though I admit..." Zenigata took another puff of his cigarette. "That kid seems to have an unhealthy fondness for you. And knowing you, you've probably already taken advantage of the poor girl. You're just lucky she turned 18 the day you took her. In this country, fooling around with anyone under that age is considered statutory rape."

"I'm crushed," said Lupin, feigning hurt. "You think so poorly of me."

Zenigata took another drag on his cigarette, then let out an obnoxiously loud laugh in Lupin's face. Lupin winced as he got a face-full of smoke.

"Oh, I can't wait to get you back to Japan!" said the inspector. "You are so in for it!"

"I woulda thought you had more integrity, Pops! Miss Robinson and I worked together to reveal what a scum bag Antony Del Monte actually is, and you're not even going to investigate him? You've got your priorities mixed up this time!"