Be My Star

VIII

Justin's (POV):

We had recorded a video for the main channel, we'd brought back yoga and after that we were handcuffed the rest of the video. When we were done with that I got to record a late night Five Night With Freddy's VIII. Setting up everything for the video suddenly Oliver showed up at the door shirtless with a tub of ice cream and a spoon in his mouth. I had so many questions but I was going to keep them to myself.

"Justin — If you were jealous that's all you had to say I think you should also be true to your feelings."

Oliver said in a passive aggressive manner leaning against the wall eating his ice cream. Rolling my eyes ignoring the urge to curse him out I continued to set up pretending he wasn't even there or at least trying to. Ryan may see something in him, but I don't he's our friend and Ryan falling for someone like Olly will only end in heartbreak I'd never do that to him. Sadly Ryan doesn't see it, so for right now I'm back off and letting things just play out exactly how I know they are.

"—- He's not into you so you'd ruin my chance of getting to be with him all because you can't catch his -"

Before he could finish his sentence I stood up sending my chair flying back slamming my hands on the desk. The more he talked the more I felt irritated, but there was nothing to say the inevitable was coming — him and Ryan would fall in love while I'm forced to watch him break Ryan's heart.

"I honestly could care less, if you want to pursue him just don't come to me after you screw things up."

I said pulling my seat back plopping down on my chair getting my stream set up and quickly turning on the camera greeting stars.  For a second Oliver just stared at me in disbelief before walking out of the room shutting the door behind him. Sighing with relief, I knew he wouldn't make a scene with the cameras on. Turning my attention back to the stars who were asking all types of questions.

The next day was filled with a busy schedule we had interviews, studio sessions and photoshoots. It was Saturday so we had the idea to throw a little pool party especially since Tyler had a date tonight with his girlfriend and probably wouldn't be home until tomorrow morning. Of course Oliver invited the girl from the mall Georgia they were inseparable, the biggest issue was that Ryan was in a corner sulking as he watched Oliver flirt with the girl in front of him. Letting out a weary sigh not wanting to go save him even if my heart is saying that I have to. He was clearly set on being with Olly so I'll let him figure out who's best for him. I just kept to myself entertaining the many girls who approached me flirting here and there.

"Hey — Justin can we talk?"

Ryan said suddenly approaching me a drink in his hands his cheeks flushed. I could tell he was completely out of it and the hangover he'd have in the morning would be worse than the one when we took that trip to Las Vegas for Coachella. Sitting my cup down on the table wrapping my around Ryan's waist walking him to the stairs. Carrying him up the stairs pushing through the people crowding the stairs. When we finally reached upstairs I carried him into my room locking the door behind me. Suddenly Ryan started to strip out of his clothes giggling hysterically, all I could do was watch him in disbelief.

"Ahh — Its hot — why is your room so hot?"

He yelled out throwing his clothes onto the floor then jumping onto my bed throwing his arm over his eyes giggling drunkly hiccuping. I wanted to tuck him into bed, but I couldn't focus my eyes were stuck on his beautiful body —

"Oliver — I do — love you, but I'm afraid —- of losing you as my —- bestfriend."

He blurted out sitting up then falling back down onto the bed sniffling as tears rolled down his cheeks. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I held my hand over my heart wincing in pain as a sharp pain in my chest started to get worse by the second.

"Aah I really want to cuddle with someone— Olly can you cuddle with me, I know I deny my feelings for you all time but it's only because I'm really scared."

He said rolling over then passing out and at that moment I felt my heart drop into my stomach. Dropping to my knees as the tears started to blur my vision and the pain in my chest felt like someone was stabbing me repeatedly. Running out of the room bumping into something as hard as bricks and suddenly I heard Oliver cry out in anger, but it quickly subsided when he saw that it was me.

"Hey what the — ah Justin bro are you ok? You should really be careful running in the hallway. You can't go hurting yourself knowing we need you, your the smile of NSB after all."

He said sweetly giving me that big smile that always made your heart melt. It was excruciating— Oliver was to nice of a guy to hate — loath or hold a grudge against. After all it was pointless Ryan has made it clear although he's holding back his feelings the truth was he was going to end up with Oliver and I'd be stuck in the background. Running past him jogging down the stairs grabbing two bottles of soju out the cooler then walking straight out to the front ignoring the many people yelling my name deciding to just step out back. Walking to the garden were there was no one around immediately turning to a tree glaring at it. Sitting my soju down on the table next to it trying to pull myself together, but it wasn't working.

"Fuck!!! Ffffuuck!!!"

I screamed out turning to a nearby tree punching it until my knuckles became bloody. Snatching the bottle of soju opening it and without thinking twice I chugged it feeling my pain slowly fading the way the more the contents of the bottle started to disappear. Grabbing the second bottle I opened it and repeated — a haha !!

"Hey — Justin are you ok? Oliver told me to check on you?"

I heard Seb's deep yet velvet voice say as he put his hand on my shoulder to comfort me. Brushing his hand off of my shoulder I continued to drink until the bottle was empty. Seb was just staring at me worriedly his lips pressed into a thin line. Honestly I couldn't understand it — what about Oliver did he like? Dropping to my knees then falling down on my back on the grass staring up at the stars as they started to spin.

"I'm just gonna — "

"No stay — I just — I don't want to be alone."

I said still staring up at the spinning stars not making eye contact as those words escaped my lips feeling a bit sheepish. At first he hesitated then sat down cautiously his eyes on me. The tears wouldn't stop falling even though I hated showing my emotions in front of people they wouldn't stop.

"—- look — I don't know what's going on just — tell me what you need and I'm here."

He said sitting up on his hands staring down at me his beautiful silhouette in the moonlight looked like a sculpture. Sitting up I leaned in closer and wrapped my arms around his waist smiling as comforted me back. At that moment my feelings for Ryan slowly faded away — the more I held him — I wonder if I —- leaning closer slowly closing the space between us but Seb quickly backed away his eyes wide with shock. Dammit! I can't do this — there's no way he has feelings for me suddenly he grabbed my chin caressing it with his thumb before pressing his lips onto mine softly messaging my tongue with his. My entire body started to feel hot —
When we finally stopped he stared at me with a smile on his face as my face went red.

"Are you sure about this?"

He asked and at first all I could think about how Ryan would feel then it hit me that I'd been in a one sided relationship for so long I'd let go of my pride. Grabbing Seb's face I shoved my lips onto his pushing him back down onto the ground mounting him now not breaking the kiss.

"I'm sure."