Epistles for my thorned metaphors

mother, father, did you hear your bad child screaming?

i wonder why the atmosphere of our called buoyant abode turned into a horrible one. full of inhumanity, profane, and wickedness. is it that arduous to love me authentically? you do not have to push me in the labyrinth full of immenent fatal creatures, full of thorned roses--that is arduous defeat. you do not have to fed those monsters stomach, and use me as the impeccable bait, thus everyone can escape from this brute and hellish world. i am the daughter, not the toy.
mother, look at me. did you see what that monster have done to me? he's eating me slowly and slowly! i think i will die infront of him, in his own hands! i don't like that idea, mother. i want to die peacefully, not painfully. please, help you disgrace imbecile child. just for now, just for now. i know i've been a bad child, but help me, mother. you said you'll embrace me whenever bad monsters come to my room, and terminate them with your strength. you said you'll anguish those monsters who haunt me in my sleep. they are here. help me!

father, succor your daughter. when i was six and innoxious, you told me i am the princess and you'll be my knight. you'll protect me just like what knights do in every princess therefore i'll remain innocuous. you said you can also be my medicine, my remedy. you'll remove my pain until it fades away in only succinct way. you said you can be wall, therefore i can lean my back there if i can no longer carry the agonizing weight of the world. you said you can be a shield, that you'll protect me against the people's discrimination. but father... you are not there. neither your silhouette.

mother, father, you are not there when the world turn their back to me! you were never there! it should be the two of you to embrace and protect the fragile me. should i blame the two of you for your useless guidance? the two of you are just the same. no diverse to the one who killed me entirely.

mother,
father,
i was bullied.
they threw the
stones infront
of my face. and father's
shield wasn't there.
mother,
father,
i was dead.
there excruciating
words i can no
longer carry.
father, the wall you
built for me is broken.
mother,
father,
i was killed.
their every day stares
inserted an ice pick
in my heart. mother, your
embrace that all i need
wasn't there.
mother,
father,
i was raped.
he ripped my clothes,
slap my face, put a knife
in my stomach. he used
chains in my lungs, and
it suffocates me. he used his
hands to crush my ribcage.
mother, father, where were you
when i needed your help?

mother, father, you are the reason of my demise.