Where Do I Belong

CHAPTER SIX

Nagising ako dahil sa sinag ng araw, hindi ko man lang namalayan. I quickly got up at nag-stretching. Pupunta na sana ako sa lagayan ng mga damit ko when I noticed my clothes are everywhere! Agad kong tinignan ang mga damitan at taguan ko ng mga bago kong damit na binigay sa akin ni Nicole, nanghina ako dahil wala na ang mga ito. Kailan ba sila hihinto?

Lumabas ako ng kwarto at tama nga ang hinala ko, they took all of my new clothes. How? Suot-suot lang naman nila ito at mukhang masaya pa sa ginawa nila, they don't even feel guilty.

"Akin 'yan, ah!" I yelled at them, but they just ignored me. Saan ba sila kumukuha ng loob para ganiyanin ako?

"Manahimik ka na lang, Ally. I can even buy you a new one," Papa said and that made me stop. Did I hear it right? Si Papa ba talaga 'to? Am I still dreaming?

Obviously, lahat sila ay nagulat at nabigla sa sinabi ni Papa, even my mother got shocked.

"Why, Papa? Is she your new favourite, huh?" Avery asked Papa, but Papa ignored her.

Hindi ko na lang sila pinansin at tinignan na lang 'yong mga paper bags na pinaglagyan ng mga damit ko.

"Nasaan na 'yong ibang laman nito?" I asked them both habang naglalakad-lakad sila at feel na feel 'yong damit ko. Mga magnanakaw.

"Nasa damitan ko 'yong iba, bakit?" Mataray na sagot ni Ate.

"Lahat 'yon ay akin. Bakit ba kasi kayo nangingialam at nangunguha ng hindi sa inyo, ha?!" Galit na tanong ko sa kanila. "Bakit niyo ba palaging kinukuha lahat ng sa akin?!" I added.

Wala akong narinig miski isang salita galing sa kanila pero ang alam ko lang, namanhid ang pisngi ko, my own mother just slapped me. Ang gandang araw para sa simula.

"Pinagbibintangan mo bang magnanakaw ang mga kapatid mo, ha?!" Galit na sigaw nito sa akin. Napatingin ako sa kanila at lahat sila nakatingin sa akin at ibinaling ulit ang pansin sa ginagawa nila, na parang wala lang sa kanila ang ginawa sa akin ni Mama. Ano pa bang aasahan mo, Ally?

"Ganiyan talaga 'yan, Ma!" Sulsol pa ni Ate kaya mas nagpainit sa dugo nito.

"Ma, akin naman kasi talaga 'yang mga 'yan! Bigay 'yan lahat sa akin ni Nicole, at isa pa, nag iwan sila ng kalat sa mga damitan ko! Hindi ko sila pinagbibintangan kasi nagsasabi lang ako ng totoo!" Pag depensa ko sa sarili ko.

Why does it always be my fault? Why do I always have to explain myself all over again? Bakit ba palagi na lang akong mali sa paningin nila? Will I ever be enough for them? It hurts to experience this kind of treatment from your own family. What did I do wrong?

Hindi nag tagal ay nakaramdam ako ng pamamanhid, hindi sa kamay, hindi rin sa paa. My cheeks went numb as my blood went up to my cheeks when I felt my mom's hand slap me. Of course, slap me for defending myself.

I just watch them standing and not doing anything, of course. I smiled not because I was happy, but because I'm hurting. Hurt by the fact my mother never hesitate to hurt me. By the fact she never hesitates to make me feel so worthless.

I went out without leaving a word. Wala naman silang pake kung saan ako pumunta at kung anong mangyari sa 'kin.

Napunta ako sa lugar kung saan tahimik at payapa. I took my slippers off at umupo sa buhangin. The view of the sea never failed to amaze me. The waves, the birds flying freely, the silence, the fresh air touching my skin.

May stick malapit sa akin kaya kinuha ko 'yon. Nagsimula akong magsulat ng pangalan ko sa buhangin. Pero, nakita kong may aninong humarang sa sinag ng araw, I looked up para tignan kung ano man 'yon. Puti at matangkad na lalaki, atim na mga mata, pulang mga labi. Tinitigan ko siya mula ulo, hanggang paa. The white sando suits him well, mas na-e-enhance rito ang maganda niyang katawan. Ganon din ang shorts na suot niya. He's staring at me like he's observing me. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at tinuloy ang pag sulat ng pangalan ko sa buhangin.

Naramdaman kong naupo siya sa tabi ko, hindi ko siya pinansin hanggang sa matapos kong sulatin ang pangalan ko.

"Aliesha." He read my name. I turned my face to face him and he was looking at me directly in my eyes. He didn't smile.

I don't know him, but it feels like he knows me. I haven't seen him in my entire life, but it seems like he has seen me. It's weird. He's weird.

He's a stranger, but I feel comfortable with him sitting beside me.

"Hi. I'm Russel," He introduced himself to me. I smiled at him and watched the birds fly.

"I'm Aleisha," I said and he smiled at me. His teeth show up like it was the brightest thing I've ever seen.

A loud sound of silence is in between us. He's just staring at the sea, and so am I.

He broke the silence when he cleared his throat. He looked at me and said, "Are you a friend of Nicole?" I stared at him and I nodded. How did he know Nicole? Knowing Nicole, nagsasabi siya ng kahit ano sa 'kin. It's weird.

He maybe saw my expression change into confusion that's why he smiled. "Nicole is one of my friends. I knew her before, she's famous and friendly that's why everyone loves her. We just got closer when Seth introduced her to me." He said.

"So, anong ginagawa mo rito? And, why are you all alone?" He asked me out of curiosity. "Nagpapahangin lang to calm me down. At mag isa lang ako rito, not until you showed up," I answered and he giggled. "Sana hindi ako nakaabala," He said.

We talked for a while. He told me how he met Seth. They were childhood friends, just like Nicole and I.

I told him the reasons why I was calming myself and he comforted me. He's comfortable for some reason, you won't feel any negative energy from him. We talked for hours. He even invited me to their cottage with his friends to eat with them. He never made me feel like I don't belong with them.

We walked home with me, he wanted to make sure that I'm okay.

"Thank you sa pag hatid sa akin, ah," I said with a genuine smile. He patted my head at medyo ginulo ang buhok ko, "You're always welcome," He said and smiled. "I'll go na, baka hanapin nila ako, e," He said. We said goodbye to each other and he waved his hands.

Hinintay kong makaalis siya hanggang sa hindi na siya mahahilap ng mga mata ko.

Pumasok na ako sa bahay at lahat sila ay nasa sala at nakatingin sa 'kin. I ignored them at pumasok na lang sa kuwarto ko.

Nagbihis na ako para presko at umupo sa study table ko. Nakita ko 'yong journal ko and I wrote something there.

Bad things tend to happen to us to encounter good things and I'm not complaining about that. ㋡