The Art of Love

"Ssssshhhhhh"

Everything up to this point had been wonderful. Nearly perfect. Yet there was something that seemed just out of her reach, or understanding. She had no reason whatsoever to be concerned, apprehensive or anxious; and yet she was something and that something would not be shut out. Every morning of every day that she had awoken with Leo in the house had been wonderful. Just thinking about it made her suddenly feel giddy but then again the feeling that something wasn't quite right would invade her mind and body and she would again reach for the answer but nothing came. If she could describe the feeling that tension gives one when something is about to happen and you know it will be bad, that was exactly how she felt. Leo was attentive and kind. He made her laugh all through their evening stroll with his avatar voices with different accents. It had been a perfectly relaxing time and yet she felt somehow that she was doing something wrong. "Leo, the meal was delicious but let's have dinner out tomorrow. You must be tired of cooking and I know that I would enjoy a ride out in your four wheel drive". She heard the keys to his device clicking away and then the voice of his avatar spoke. It was the actor from the movie Alladin. She simply couldn't help it and began giggling. "Leo-really-Will Smith?". The computer promptly replied with a bellowing laughter that only made her giggle more. She stilled a few moments later and closed her eyes as the feeling of tension filled her again and she tried will all her strength to reason out why she was feeling that way. She heard Leo gathering up the plates from the table and then his footfalls across the wooden floor. She willed herself to relax as Leo's avatar asked a question. She hadn't heard it at first and knew that she had been on the verge of some realization about how she was feeling when the voice of his avatar questioned again "I will be happy to accompany you to dinner Sanem. Do you have a preference for a particular cuisine?" The moment the words reached her ear she knew what that feeling of tension was. She felt a sudden sense of loss invade her so quickly that she stepped backward and straight into what felt like a wall. She reached out to try and steady herself but was soon enveloped by arms that felt like bands of steel and the feeling swept through her once more. This time it was so strong she gasped which prompted those same arms to hold her tighter which was a good thing because she lost all sense of direction and then she sensed nothing at all.

Can quickly picked up Sanems limp body and moved her over to the couch. He got a kitchen towel and soaked it, wrung it out and came back to her to place it on her head. He felt her pulse relieved that it was strong and normal. Her skin was cool to the touch and her pallor was normal too. He had no idea what had caused her to faint but soon the episode that Osman had described came to mind and he quickly called the clinic to speak to someone. When an answer came he nearly spoke out in reply but remembered where he was and snapped his mouth closed before he blew it. Shutting down the phone he stood up with an eye on Sanem and headed to the back of the house exiting through the sliding doors of the kitchen. It took a few minutes to relay his concerns to the nurse and soon he had an appointment for that afternoon. When he walked back into the room Sanem still lay on the couch. He walked up to her and kneeling on the floor next to her, touched her cheek ever so gently not wanting to disturb her but wanting desperately to feel her skin against his own. He had chosen this, and it was torture; but he deserved all he went through because she had paid the highest price of all. "Can....caaan?" His heart stopped at hearing his name spoken from her lips and he uttered her name before he could stop himself. "Sanem.... Sevgilim, are you alright?". Hearing his name spoken aloud brought him crashing back to reality and the seconds that ticked by made him break out in a sweat. Her eyes were still closed and her face held a frown across it as she twisted her head back and forth. "Caaaan nooo... please don't go.... don't leave me.... I'm sorry, please come back". Her arms reached out as she tried to lift her head but he pushed her shoulders down gently while his mind raced with thoughts and worry. He had made decisions that had impacted her. He had risked his life but hers as well. He had caused himself pain but it couldn't compare to hers. He had ruined her life permanently. Watching her now fight off whatever had invaded her dreams was more than he could bear. He leaned into her and his mouth gently hovered  over her ear. He spoke softly and slowly and prayed that the part of her that needed him would hear it. "Sssshhhhh bebek. I love you. I always will". Her movements stopped and her face cleared as he pulled away but kept her hands in his. When her eyes fluttered open he half expected her to see him and recognize him and throw herself into his embrace. Instead she stared out unseeingly as she had so many times before and his heart sunk even further than it had when he had first learned that she was blind. He gripped her hand to assure her she was safe and she turned to where she knew his head would be. "Leo? What happened? We were talking and then..." Can watched her face closely. Her emotions were plain to see. She was fighting for control over something she herself couldn't understand and he began to realize that he might just be the problem. He let her hands go and signed into her palm. "You're ok. You fainted. Let me get my phone". He walked away but watched her. She grabbed her own hands and rubbed her palms together. She brought them to her face and covered her cheeks and eyes and shook her head from side to side. She didn't cry and she didn't speak as he walked into the kitchen. He sensed that this was brought on by their theme spent together. Somehow his being there day in and day out, all day; was affecting her.