Avoidance

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The alarm went off at six and I dragged myself out of bed

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The alarm went off at six and I dragged myself out of bed. I'd barely slept at all and could already feel a headache coming on. I groaned and buried my head into the pillow. The situation sucked.

I didn't have time for any shit. I needed to figure out a way to avoid Ellie, and still attend the classes and meetings I was scheduled for.

My normal routine was to run a few miles before work. It kept me in shape and cleared my head so I could tackle the workday. But my muscles strained, and I felt stiff as I reached for a pair of gym shorts in my carry-on suitcase, which was so much more of a reason to get out there.

I didn't know the neighborhood, but the area around the hotel seemed safe. It was mostly the traditional commercial buildings that had a storefront on the bottom and offices above, like most inner cities.

I liked to run outside. It kept me cognizant of my surroundings, plus I didn't want to run on a treadmill in the hotel gym, just in case Ellie would be there. She never used to be a runner or a gym rat, but sometimes things changed.

Sometimes they changed a lot.

And sometimes they stayed the same.

I wondered if she was the same...

"Fuck, man," I groaned out loud. "Get it together."

It would do me no good to play the "what if" game. I'd already done that thousands of times, and not just about Ellie, but about things overall. It hadn't changed anything, and it wouldn't. Usually, it just left me feeling bitter.

I forced myself to push the thought of her away and finished getting dressed. I'd gotten very good at the denial approach over the years.

After grabbing a baseball cap, I headed for the stairs. I was on the 7th floor, but I wanted to avoid public areas as much as possible, which is why I chose the concrete staircase instead of the cushy elevators.

The air that hit me when I walked outside was still relatively cool, but I could tell it was about to become a hot day. I popped the headphones in my ears more out of routine than anything else, because I never turned the music on.

There was barely anybody on the sidewalks and only a few cars on the road. I usually enjoyed that quiet time by myself in the morning before the stress of the day took over, but my legs felt stiff as I took off away from the hotel at a brisk pace.

I ran past a few small local restaurants a couple of blocks away from the hotel, noting they may be a good place to have dinner. That way I could avoid the potential of running into Ellie, or at least lessen it.

A bitter laugh escaped my mouth. The whole situation was beyond ridiculous. Ten years ago, I would've done my best to save up so I could take Ellie to a place like that. To treat her to something nice, because she deserved it.

Now, I had to hide from her, of all people. It really fucking sucked!

How awesome it would be if I could take Ellie out to a restaurant, just the two of us, instead of having to attend another BioloGen buffet. To listen to her tell me about her life, stare into those blue, blue eyes of hers that expressed so much feeling. The way they used to express so much love when she looked at me. Now they'd only shown pain and disbelief.

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