Denial

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"Hey Will," Ron, my coworker said as he stopped by the open door to my office

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"Hey Will," Ron, my coworker said as he stopped by the open door to my office.

I wasn't in a great mood to begin with, partially because of Ellie, but also because of some weird shit happening at home, but I seriously hated the nickname Will. I didn't really like William either, but it was at least better than Will or Bill. Bill was the absolute worst.

I looked up from behind the computer screen.

"Are you coming to lunch?" he asked, like it was the most exciting thing happening on a Friday.

I glanced down at my watch to find that it was almost noon.

"We're going to that new place on 5th," he finished when I didn't answer.

"Another time. I have too much work to catch up on today."

"Alright." Ron knocked on the door frame. He knew better than to push it. "Catch you later."

I just nodded.

Most of the time I worked through lunch and kept to myself, but I had gone with some of the guys to lunch a few times over the last couple of months. If I kept too much to myself, people noticed and I couldn't afford to be seen as some kind of weirdo, but I also didn't want to hang out with them too much. The friendlier I was, the more questions they had and I couldn't really answer them.

It was important to try to find that perfect balance, of being polite and friendly while remaining private and keeping a distance. To not attract too much attention. It was a constant struggle.

Hanging with the guys could be distracting, and sometimes that was what I needed. But as it was now, I was already distracted. Ellie had tried to get in touch with me. She had sent both emails and left a couple of messages. One on my voicemail and one was a call transfer from Sylvie, our secretary. I knew it was her, so I had let it go to voicemail. No woman called me at work and asked Sylvie to transfer her to me. And if it so happened to be someone other than Ellie, someone I needed to speak to, I'd call them back. I just couldn't talk to Ellie, no matter how much I wanted to. It was too much of a risk.

I was getting hungry, but I didn't run out to grab anything to eat until I heard Ron and a few of the guys return to the office. From their laughter, I assumed they had consumed some liquid with that lunch. Or maybe only liquids.

I grabbed my wallet and told Sylvie on my way to the elevator that I was just picking up lunch and would be right back. I offered to get her something, but she said she'd already been to lunch.

It was a bit late for lunch, even for me, but it didn't matter. I was just going to eat at my desk as I worked, anyway.

"Hey William," Dana, one of the junior accountants, said with a smile when I stepped into the elevator behind her. She was a somewhat recent college graduate and had the look of a typical sorority girl, but I'd heard from my manager that she had graduated from Boston College with honors. That must have been how she scored a job at BioloGen. They had a tough hiring process.

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