Letters to my lover

#2

I am writing this letter so that you understand how complicated I am. It's not just other women who are complicated. But especially me, I'm an alien. You can call me alien all you want, I won't be offended. Because I'm a creature that you don't know and want you to know, even though I know you. (let's say the alien knows humans, but doesn't want to touch earth haha what a concept)

I am an alien. I can say it a thousand times in front of you, wherever and whenever it's until you're sick of hearing it. I have no problem. I want you to understand that. Not understanding in the sense that you have to know how to deal with me, because I also don't want to expect you to be able to. But I want you to understand that I'm different and I'm not like the others, and let me be who I am.

Because all my life, I learned to be like other people. Be what they want. Be like the figure that other people think. But the truth is that I am who I am, and I have no power to change what I have become. It was like every cell in my body had formed into a system that eventually formed the me that I am. No matter how much I try to be the ideal person, I always go back to being who I am.

This, to you, may sound like someone who is extremely stubborn. Or maybe you really want to say, "You just don't want to change!", or even, "You have to come out of your shell!". No! As long as I've lived I've camouflaged a lot, how many shells have been cracked I can't count.

Just ask those who are always surprised by me suddenly becoming the real me. Just ask those who always think I'm fake. Why do you think they always push and pull in a relationship with me? Wasn't it because they were always afraid to come into contact with this unpredictable me?

Even my mother, all over again, even after she regretted saying it she still said it, "you are hard to understand"

In this letter I am trying to convince you. I'm trying to save you from a complicated me, me that no one on this earth can change, except by the power of God, I'm so complicated that it makes your head hurt and blames yourself. Honey, you don't need to understand me. The way you become my lover is to accept this unique me.