Letters to my lover

#4

This time, I want to open your mind about trust. I reminded you, I am different and unusual. I want you to understand that it is difficult for me to process this properly. Do we really have to trust each other? How do we trust each other? How do other people trust their relatives? Believing something is something that is not common to me, but very common to others.

There are many people in this world who trust each other. Actually, I am also one of those who believe, believe you are one of them. Of course so, because we have each other and we need trust. But, to what extent do we believe? Because that belief for me exists within certain limits, and is not the same as other people. Like for example, I have to call you every time when I get home from work or going to bed. It's not important to me. You know I'm going to sleep, and I'm definitely coming home. My life is the same as yours basically. I eat, sleep, work. I'll update something important if it has anything to do with you, or maybe it doesn't, but it's not that trivial to share. And other people do things like that, and I feel like that means they don't believe it. Hmmm very confusing. But their relationship is fine. They said that was how they continue the conversation. Wow! I find it very boring and annoying. I think there are more things to worry about than what time you go to bed and what time you come home from work. Not that I'm taking the conversation lightly, but to me, if you believe me, you don't have to ask me stuff like that every day.

I heard some other people's chatter like, "my boyfriend hasn't told me yet, he should have told me because it's time for him to come home. Is he playing somewhere else?" I'm just confused to proces it. Why did she have to think about such a simple thing? Am I just thinking that is too trivial? What if his boyfriend is stuck in traffic and has trouble contacting him? Or if he is working overtime and forget to let her know? What if he is just experiencing unexpected problems, for example, his cellphone suddenly has problems? Aren't those possibilities possible? Why can't she just wait for it? Aren't you hooked up with someone because you trust him or her?

For me the value of trust can't be seen with practical things like that. Trust is knowing that you will call me anytime. Believing is knowing that you are only mine. Believing it's a very deep concept and you can't see it from simple things, it's in your heart.

But, the funny thing is, I won't be able to trust you as much as other people. Just be honest. Like my mother and a boy. The boy left the money with my mother because she considered my mother like her own mother. I think that's crazy. I never even left my money with my mother. And I've heard a lot of other romantic relationships can be like that. For example, a man who treats his girlfriend constantly. I think that's crazy. To me, it's good for the relationship to stick together to some degree. Even if it's just for treats. But what if she leaves you? You will lose so much just because you believe. Money really can't judge a relationship, but you also sometimes need calculations. As I believe in you. I believe that we prepare each other for our next relationship, so I won't question how much your salary is, and when you will buy me a bag. Duh!

If we believe, we support each other, because we know that each of us is a future asset to each other, so to fuss over practical matters like that sounds so trivial. I believe my belief concept for you is true. I believe you are preparing 'us' so I don't make this as a chat, maybe later when I will take care of you, I will question small things. But as long as I put my trust in you, I won't doubt you. in the least.