Behind the Time - Herophine

9

HERO

I haven't seen anything online in days, for days we sleep in houses in the middle of nowhere, with no internet signal or calls, we just memorize texts, train, rehearse and film. I'm happy, so happy, to live this character, to do one of the things I love, which is acting, to be in Africa without internet, without rush... I'm living a dream and I can't feel bad for taking this time for myself and don't miss anything else...

"Hey Jordan! Come here..."

"What's happened?"

Jordan walks over and looks at my cell phone, which I finally pull out of my bag.

"There's cell signal here..."

"Good! I'll try to call my mom!"

I do the same, call my mother, and she answers on the first call. I asked if everything is all right there in London, with her and my sister, with my friends, and I was happy to know that everything is as I left it... The M-Boys visiting her, always asking if I sent word, or if I let her know when I would come back.

So, I go to my Instagram, and the first thing I see is her picture... It's been days since I've spoken with Jô, I know she doesn't text or call me because she doesn't want to bother me... I wish I was more present... But... At the same time, I want to be here and live this. Amazingly, during these days, I didn't miss that... I don't know why, maybe because I am doing something I love... And I can't expect anything from her either... We both know how complicated this relationship is, that's what we have... I don't even know if I can call it a relationship... It's something so intense, but we have both feet on the ground to believe that this can work.I look once again at my blonde, in the publication of the WWD newspaper, beautiful as always, and I call her:

"Hero?" Her voice was one of surprise.

"Hi... Can you talk now?"

"Sure I can!"

Her voice was weird... Her face swollen... Was she crying?

"It's all right?"

"Hu...hum..."

"Uhum nothing... You can tell me what's going on..."

"What a miracle you have signal!"

"Do not change the subject!"

"Ow Hero... Just tell me if you're ok? How are things there?"

I knew she wouldn't answer me if I didn't answer her questions first...

"I'm fine Jô! We have some free time now that we've shooted the most important scenes... We're just doing some training and rehearsing... But... I want to hear from you! You always listen to me! Today I want to listen you!"

"I was thinking..."

I knew where it would go.

"Hero... I... I'm going to make another movie!"

"Jô!!! This is wonderful! Congratulations!"

"Yessss! It's going to be amazing! The cast is perfect and the story is really good! It's called The Other Zoey, I auditioned and my profile was perfect for the character, and they loved it... I'm finishing packing my bag... I'm going... Tomorrow to North Carolina to start rehearsals and all the prep madness for the movie... And... "

My heart skipped a beat, more than when I watched a football match with the M-boys... It was really good to know all this! I'm very grateful for everything Jô has helped me, I will always root for her... And I know she loves me too... But there were still more things to say...

"Jô, breathe... It's going to be all right!"

A silence hovered on the other end of the line... I need to do something... For her... And for me... Sometimes in life, we need to do and say what we don't want... But for a certain moment , it is necessary. And she wasn't going to do that...

"Hey, I'm so happy for you! I love you so much and I want to see you happy! So I'm bursting with happiness too!"

"Hero..."

I know where this is going...

"Jô, I already know where you want to go..."

The truth is... I'm tired of this back and forth, this roller coaster we live... I know what she means... And I... I believe I want the same as her...

"Hero... I love you! But we can't stay on this roller coaster anymore!"

"Jô, I love being with you... But it's really hard to keep it the way we are... It doesn't do any good... For any of us... Before I called you... I was just thinking about everything that's what you said... Before I heard about this new movie... I can't try something like this anymore... I love you and that won't change!"

"No! That won't change!"

"But I also think we need to change what we have... Because... You need to live these new experiences that will come... And..."

"You will do the same!"

"Yes!"

"Hero..." She laughs... Along with a few tears that trickled from the corners of her pretty clear eyes... "I'll never forget everything we lived through... I don't want to lose you..."

"You will not loosing me!"

"Alright then..."

A long pause invades the conversation and I stare at her.

"Friends?"

She holds out her hand out in front of the camera and I can't help but laugh.

"Friends? Do you think you can just be my friend?!"

"Of course Hardin! You don't remember what it was like in the beginning..."

"I remember! It was soooo boring!"

She laughs, and her face starts to return to normal.

"Hey! It'll be all right in the end!"

"I know!"

"Well... Now we are friends..."

"What? Now you want me to tell you about the guys who get in my way?"

That was like a punch to my stomach. My smile disappears, I can't control what I was feeling.

Jordan enters the room at just the right moment.

"Hero?"

"Jô, I need to go... I'm going to... Hang out with the guys!"

Jordan looks at me uncomprehendingly.

"Ah... Okay! But is everything allright?"

"Yes! Good luck in the movie! See you... Someday!" And I hung up.

"Wow... After that I wouldn't call you anymore..." Jordan says, I try not to listen to him... I keep imagining Jô with another guy... With this Harry, Henry, I don't know... Maybe the new actor who she will play with... I need a shower!



DECEMBER


December is here and the only thing I need is rest! The prodution had already informed us that they would release us from the shootings here in Africa, as soon as the end of the year holidays arrived, and in the second week, I was already boarding back to my house... London! Couldn't wait!

See my family, my friends, parties, women, who cares about Jô, when we have thousands of women waiting for us... New stories... New experiences... She's not unique... She can't be!

I didn't know that our last conversation would affect me so much... I deleted all the photos from my Instagram... I wanted to change, I was tired of how things were going... I want news! I want to live new things! Hero is tired! And Hero is coming home!


"Hey Hero!"

The M-Boys were waiting for me, eating my food, lying on my bed, I even saw one hugging my sister! What is that! But everything gets better when I'm with them. They welcomed me very well! They gave me a big group hug and all the questions they always ask came through!

"What's up? Have you met any African hotties?"

"No man! He's dating Jô!"

"I am not..." I tried to explain but it's almost impossible to speak when you have lots of guys yelling in your ear.

"But so what! The movie is different now! He's going to be a bad guy now!"

"Shut up! Hey Hero, what was it like shooting on another continent!"

"It wasn't just another continent! It was Africa!"

My head was exploding, I just wanted to lie down and relax, have a cigarette and drink myself to sleep!

"Hey guys! Calm down! Shooting there was surreal... We still have a lot to do... I'm going back there next month, and I'm really looking forward to it because every second in that place and with those people was amazing. I even made a friend who reminds you a lot... His name is Jordan!"

"Bring him here one day so we can meet him!"

"I'll bring he! And... On the other subject... I just don't want to talk about her..."

"Her? The girl who starts with J and ends with Jô?"

"Yes you asshole! That's right! We've decided that we'll be just friends from now on..."

"Oh yeah! We've heard that... Friends with benefits that calls, right?"

"Shut up... Now it's serious! This has to work! And you guys have to help me!"

"Leave it to us Hero! But first you have to promise us something..."

"Okay, what?"

"The old Hero needs to come back!"

After they said that, all the M-Boys spoke in chorus:

"Yeah! Back old Hero..."

The old Hero was a guy who didn't care about anything... Who never felt anything... Who didn't let anyone in... Except friends and family... Who drank a lot, he didn't even remember his own name.. And yes... I was going to try to bring this old Hero back... By the way... Now there's nothing stopping me from living it again... Is there?

I lay my head on my pillow, finally smelling my room, touching my things again, breathing in the air of London and the place I've lived for years, and knowing that I'd be back to the crazy routine in a few days, is a little sad... But at the same time... It was the career that I chose to live... Then I rest when we finish the movie...

I take my cell phone and as usual, the first thing I see is news of her, everyone tags me in everything Jô is doing... I saw pictures of her skiing... Her with the new casting... And especially... Jô and her new co-star, laughing and living moments like the ones we lived together shooting After... My heart was jumping, I swear I'm happy for her, but I wanted to be with her...

I turn off my cell phone, and bury my head in the pillow, forcing myself to sleep anyway... Not thinking about blond hair or blue eyes in the snow.