Mother Earth ||| Bucky Barnes (2)

25 | 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐇𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐔𝐬 𝐀𝐥𝐥

𝙰𝙻𝙴𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙰 𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙵𝙵-𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙽𝙴𝚂
2017, 𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢-𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗

𝐒𝐢𝐱 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫

Bucky was going to find out, and soon. The dreams came every single night, so often times I pretended to sleep so he wouldn't worry. A majestic, female voice started to come to me, telling me jumbled up things that I couldn't desipher. My head pounded on the daily, making it extremely hard to preform daily tasks. I worried that one day I would have a dream while holding Ingrid. If she got hurt because of me, I don't know what I'd do.

I saw Shuri all the time, trying to figure out a way to help. We tried shock therapy, we tried everything, but nothing worked. I was running out of options, and time, and something had to be done.

Telling Bucky wouldn't help anything, it would just worry him. But I felt guilty. Every time Bucky had a nightmare he woud tell me all of the details. Everything he felt, anything at all. Here I was, undergoing something serious, and refusing to say anything.

Something had to be done, because I couldn't go on living like this.

"Are you okay?" Bucky asked, startling me. I was leaning over the counter drinking coffee to calm my nerves, lightly drumming my fingers against the mug mindlessly.

I looked at Bucky who was on the couch, about to nod my head, when I remembered that I wasn't okay. And that he deserved to know.

I sighed, and brought my coffee with me to sit on the couch next to Bucky, tucking my legs in. He looked at me with wide eyes, silently telling me to procdeed.

"I need to tell you something. I should've told you a while ago and I'm sorry I didn't." I started, the fear evident in my odd eyes.

Bucky left his gaze on me, placing a hand on my right thigh for support. "The dreams, the voices, everything. They're back." I continued, taking a deep breath. "Everything that Tony did to get rid of them years ago. They're back, Buck. And Shuri can't help."

"How long? How long has this been going on without my knowledge?" Bucky asked, rightfully upset.

Sucking in a breath, I kept my gaze facing forward. "Nine months." I answered dryly, feeling Bucky's disappointment radiating off of him.

He scoffed loudly, standing up and pacing behind the couch. "So since we adopted our daughter, you have been suffering alone, and you didn't think to tell me? Didn't I deserve to know?" he said, trying hard not to raise his voice, but evidently failing.

"I didn't want to worry you." I said, taking a sip of my coffee.

Bucky stopped pacing immediately. "You didn't want to worry me? Your problems are automatically my problems. We're married, Alessia." he said angrily.

"I know that." I uttered just above a whisper, drinking more coffee.

"Do you? Because husbands and wives share life-threatening information with the other. Clearly you need a refresher course." Bucky spat out, breathing heavily.

I set the coffee down on the table and stood up, looking at Bucky directly. "I'm sorry. I should've told you when it first happened." I apologized, feeling intimidated by Bucky.

Bucky inhaled deeply, stepping closer to me and touching my blonde braid, fixated on it. "Secrets hurt us all. God, Alessia, if I didn't love you so much I'd be much more upset, but I get it." He said, his breathing calming down as he did.

I smiled a tiny bit, and encased Bucky's hand in mine. "Thank you." I whispered, kissing his knuckles.

"Yeah. I'll be in our room for a little bit. Let out some steam." He said, and I nodded.