The Harley Keener Villain Complex

The one where Steve spills the tea, Peter does not like the tea

TW for: Panic attacks, self-harming behaviour, blood, reference to past suicide attempts, reference to child abuse, abuse of Dominant/ Submissive dynamics as an excuse for continuous abuse, reference to kidnapping, disordered eating and body dysmorphia

A few days down the line he and Peter fell into a comfortable conversation about his AP Physics class which they both agreed was entirely undeserving of the title AP because it was the most basic and boring class they could think of together, so Harley dumped a load of university level knowledge on Peter who was delighted by the small knowledge boost, the conversation however took a drastic shift when Harley's playlist started playing guns and ships from Hamilton which was a great source of amusement for Peter.

"Do you want me to skip?" Peter asked and Harley negated, shaking his head a little too quickly

"No don't, turn it up" Harley laughed and Peter just stared at him absolutely taken aback.

"That's- Elsa, that's Hamilton" Peter said, trying not to laugh.

"I know"

"You- You" Peter burst out laughing "You of all people are a musical theatre kid? I mean Harley" Peter managed to say between laughs "You are all dark and gloomy and smart but you listen Hamilton for fuck sake"

"I drive to Queens to get you to school and this is the thanks I get?"

"I am eternally grateful but Harley- it's Hamilton" Peter laughed, face red, barely able to breathe in properly and with each glance to the side Harley felt himself grow more and more troubled. The sight of Peter so incredibly amused and humoured and unbothered and free burned itself into his mind, a memory so overwhelmingly good he was sure one day it would be the source of his greatest pain.

The closer they moved towards the end of term of school the more they began enjoying their time at midtown, mostly because with each day closer to no longer having to go there the better. Harley did not mind teaching as much as he said he did. It was a facade that worked with his character, he was not a people person so hating teaching and being a dramatic bitch about it just fit so well, and it was damn funny to him. But if he really thought about it, then he would have to admit it is more fun than he initially thought, preparing lessons, explaining things to others and seeing them understand was very satisfying, and when he got on with the students it was even better. Just like his feeling about returning to midtown, he himself had also changed much since his first day of teaching, for one he had put on muscle which he had previously seen as an impossible endeavour, he was still slender- thin and hated it, hated himself. Body dysmorphia did not just disappear because he was having sex with the same person- a lot.

One of his hang ups after Kai had been his dramatic weight loss and his obsessive one night stand pattern because God forbid he would have to see someone again who had seen what he looked like under expensive silk shirts and hoodies that were three sizes too big.

When Kai had been torn from his life he hadn't just lost his roommate- his partner in crime, he had lost his voice of reason, his time management, his positivity. Because suddenly he forgot to eat for days on end and was anxious and shaky because of too much caffeine, too much alcohol, too many things that could have and should have brought him to the brink of death.

When he looked at himself in the mirror all he saw was the wreck of what he used to be, the people he had lost, names etched onto each of his ribs- it was visible. Practically written on his skin like the unfortunate truth of Harley Stark.

He barely remembered the feeling of looking at himself with anything less than disgust. The way his pecks were undefined or his abs were barely there, the way he looked sickly thin and like he wasn't eating enough- because he wasn't. His physical habits were as unhealthy as his mental habits and he despised it, because people could tell that his smirk and stubble could only say so much when the rest of his body was being deprived like his mind was, brought to the brink of collapse in the name of health like his mind was. In all the ways that his and Johnny's relationship was dysfunctional it did him well in more ways than one. Someone who hated his personality still looked at him and didn't find what he saw despicable.