Faith: Delilah

Chapter 8: Anticipation

"Shopping with mom was awesome. It was like we were best friends again. I hadn't realized how far we'd grown apart." I told Messy about my day with Mom when we got home. He sat there silently, listening to my story. One of the oddest things about our relationship is how I never feel awkward talking to him, even though he can't talk back.

"I wasn't so sure it was going to be a good time. I had to tell her about Oscar. It made me really nervous, and at first she took his side again. Then I got mad at her." Messy huffed air through his lips, making them flag against his teeth. "I told her she couldn't always take his side. I reminded her about the night he hit me. It was weird though... she told me something I didn't understand."

I thought back over what Mom had said to me in the auto. I thought about how she couldn't figure out what was right. Messy watched me with a fierceness in his eyes.

"She told me that she couldn't figure out the difference between right and wrong any more. I don't understand how she could get that confused. She said that when she's not around Oscar, she feels like every this is wrong, but when he is around, she can't help but think he's always right." Messy twitched his ears, his dark eyes gleaming in the dim lamp light. I smiled at him and almost laughed.

"You know, if you were a human, I'd say you look lost in thought." He licked his nose and blew air through his lips again. I laughed a little harder.

"Any way, I did get an outfit for my audition." I pulled my skirt and top of the shopping bag. "its very professional and grown-up, don't you think?" I held it up to myself in the mirror. Messy whimpered. "The audition is getting so close! Ugh! I need to practice a little more... well, a lot more."

I hung the prized outfit up in the closet and sat down at my keyboard. Messy laid his head on his paws while I practiced.

Well, I'm getting a little better.

I opened my eyes Monday morning with sheer anticipation. Samuel hadn't called me all weekend, so I was dying to get to school. I took Mom's advice to make myself "pretty". I spent extra time curling my hair and fixing my make up just right.

I was almost skipping during the short walk. It was a day full of sunshine and puffy clouds. A million thoughts were running through my mind as I absorbed the spring heat. Everything from where I was going to sit in choir to what I would be doing when he walked into biology.

Maybe I won't do anything.

Maybe if I don't look busy, he'll come talk to me!

My thoughts switched to figuring out the best way to sit to look the most inviting.

My first two classes were a blur. I didn't care about what the professors were talking about and I didn't care to learn any more about the Third War at the moment. My papers were due soon, they were almost done, and passage was two weeks away. As if I needed any other reason to check out. I just wanted to see what was going to happen today. I too ancy to even sit still.

I practically bounced into the choir room. Madds was annoyed with me, she had been trying to tell me about her weekend with Randy. I just couldn't pay attention enough to listen. I was the customary "uh-huhs" in all the wrong places.

"Delilah!" She said exasperated.

"What?" I asked, still searching the room. I spotted Samuel walk in. "There he is!" I squeaked.

"Ugh!" She said, thumping her back against her chair.

I watched him, smiling like a fool. He didn't look at me once. He went to get his folder and took his regular chair.