Trauma Bond

Chapter Ten: Stabley Unstable

**(For optimal reading experience, listen to the song Paralyzed by Sueco. This song inspired the relationship dynamic between reader and Eren.)**

A few months have passed since Eren asked you to be his girlfriend. A lot has changed since then. You started your new job, and you loved it and thrived in your position. You were able to get your own small apartment just a few minutes away from Sasha's house. Eren took you on nice dates in your spare time and he stayed in your apartment with you most of the time. 

You developed a sort of codependency on him, not wanting to be away from him unless one of you had to work. In the event that he needed space, he would simply go back to his own house and come back to you later. He didn't like leaving you alone too often, having also developed his own sort of bond with you, which only grew more over time. You both shared very similar traumas, which enabled you to bond with each other to begin with and when you slept with him for the first time,  it introduced new feelings and attachments

You knew what was happening, but you brushed it off because you felt like your survival depended on the love that Eren had to offer you. Over time, your trauma caused you to change into a different person. A shell of who you used to be. You never healed from any of it, so it manifested itself into unhealthy coping mechanisms and changes in your overall mood and demeanor. You became who Eren was when he wasn't around you, or so you gathered from your friends.

You found yourself suddenly not being able to get along with your friends sometimes, being overly defensive and picking fights. They would easily forgive you, despite having every right to hold a grudge against you. You felt like you didn't deserve them, so you kept your distance from them most of the time. Your new, busy life made it easy. 

In a perfect world, you and Eren got along perfectly. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. You both became almost the same person, causing you to clash with one other from time to time. You ignored the fact that you both seemed to argue more and more recently, focusing more on the quick recovery from arguments and the mind-blowing sex that ensued shortly thereafter. 

One day you got home from work to find Eren sitting in the living room in front of the tv, playing video games. There was a little bit of trash surrounding him, empty cans and a pizza box sitting on the couch and coffee table. He was still in his sleeping attire from last night, pajama pants and no shirt. 

He greeted you as you walked in, averting his eyes from the screen for a minute before returning back to playing his game. 

Anger began bubbling within your chest. You took pride in your ability of keeping your apartment clean, and although the mess wasn't too bad, your desire for control in the clean environment that you lived in took over your thoughts. 

"What the fuck is this mess, Eren?" You stood in the entryway of the living room, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed. 

"I'm sorry baby, I'll clean it up in a minute." He didn't look at you as he said this, continuing to play his game. His voice sounded nonchalant and that drove you crazy. 

Without saying a word, you grabbed a trash bag and walked into the living room, tossing all of the trash into a bag and meticulously wiping away any crumbs and getting in the way of the tv whenever you could. 

Annoyance plastered his features. "I told you I'd do it in a minute, what is your problem?"

You stayed quiet, your teeth clenched and eyebrows furrowed. You avoided eye contact as you took every opportunity you could to slam something or aggressively throwing trash into the trash bag. 

"(Y/N), hello? Talk to me." You could hear the annoyance in his voice, but you continued ignoring him as you finished cleaning up the mess. At this point, he had already paused the game and watched you.