Trauma Bond

Chapter Twelve: Is This Love?

A few weeks had passed since Brad's arrest. You've busied yourself with work to avoid your thoughts, but the strings were wearing thin and you felt the sense of an inevitable breakdown approaching.

You arrived home from work one day, having decided that you wanted to spend some time with Eren and go out to dinner or go see a movie. You found that Eren wasn't anywhere to be found. He didn't have work today so you wondered where he could be. You decided to take a quick shower and change into more comfortable clothes.

You got out of your shower and Eren still wasn't home, so you called him. He didn't answer. You began getting angry, you had these plans that you wanted to talk to him about as soon as you got home and you couldn't get a hold of him.

You tried calling him again and, once again, no answer. You felt a panic attack coming on, the one person who could calm you down wasn't here. You went to the kitchen and rummaged the cabinet, finding yours and Eren's shared stash of booze. You grabbed the closest bottle to you with shaky hands, a half full bottle of whiskey.

Your heart was beating fast and you were starting to hyperventilate. You walked to the couch in the living room and sat down, popping off the top of the bottle and taking a swig.

You swallowed the amber liquid, feeling your muscles start to relax a bit. You took another swig, then another bigger one as your tears began to fall. Quiet sobs filling the room.

As you got up, you felt the minor effects of the alcohol begin to take place. In your swimming and intrusive thoughts, you walked outside to the back porch to get some fresh air. You looked at the table next to you and saw Eren's cigarettes sitting there in front of the other vacant seat.

You spitefully recalled Eren's words to you the night of the concert as you pulled a cigarette out of the mostly full pack.

"I don't want to be the reason you start smoking."

You huffed an unamused chuckle as you started smoking the cigarette, ashing it in the ash tray that was in the middle of the table.

You sniffled as the tears stopped flowing, not bothering to wipe the tears off of your cheeks as you continued smoking the cigarette.

When you were a little over halfway finished, you heard the back door open and close. You kept your eyes ahead of you, looking over at the city looming a few miles away, the sunset starting to end and darkness kissing the sky.

You heard an aggravated huff as the chair on the other side of the table moved, first pulling out then back in. You looked over and saw Eren looking at you, an annoyed look on his face. "What are you doing, (Y/N)?"

You looked back at the city skyline, the lights of the city lighting up in the impending darkness, and took a long drag from your cigarette. Tears threatening to spill over again as you swallowed the lump in your throat and exhaled the smoke. "Where were you, Eren?"

His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you, you continued looking ahead, seeing him in your peripheral vision. "I went to have some drinks. Now answer my question, what are you doing?"

You looked at him with anger flashing in your eyes. "What does it look like I'm doing?" You spoke through clenched teeth, relaxing as you finished speaking. "I wanted to do something fun with you tonight and you weren't here. I guess you'd rather drink than-"

Anger continued to plaster his features as he cut you off. "I can't be at your beck and call, (Y/N). How about instead of throwing a tantrum like a child, you communicate what you want?" His voice spewed venom, which hurt your feelings but also infuriated you.

You looked him in the eyes as you pushed the cigarette up to your lips and took the last drag. You held it in your lungs as you put it out in the ashtray, then exhaled. "Why do you think I called you? You ignored me so you could get drunk."

He got up from the table abruptly, slamming his hands on the table and bending his top half over the table, putting his face a few inches from yours. "Well it sounds like you're no different from me, huh?"

You flinched and backed away, maintaining eye contact. You didn't respond as you abruptly got up, knocking your chair back on the ground, and storming inside, slamming the door behind you.

You made your way back to the bottle that you left on the countertop and took a long swig of it while you stormed in to the kitchen. You put the lid back on it and put it back, and stormed into your bedroom, slamming the door behind you.

Eren didn't miss out on the bedroom door slamming, having walked inside right before you did. He closed the door, attempting to storm into the closed bedroom door but was stopped by the door being locked.

You we're laid down on the bed in a fetal position as you heard the doorknob jiggle loudly, then heard his shouts. "(Y/N), come on, what the fuck is wrong with you? Open the door."

You stayed quiet and didn't respond, making Eren more angry.

"Talk to me, dammit!"

No response.

Eventually he stopped jiggling the door handle, pressing his back against the door with his head up, looking at the ceiling and taking a deep breath.

Then he heard the sobs that escaped you, making him feel bad for yelling at you.

He turned around and softly knocked on the door. "Come on, baby, please let me in. I'm so sorry, let's talk about this."

You didn't respond, your sobs not allowing you. You couldn't muster up the energy to get up just yet.

"Please, baby. I can't handle hearing you cry." His voice sounded sad.

You continued sobbing as you made yourself get up, unlocking the door for him. He opened it and immediately took you in his arms, kissing you on the top of your head as you buried yours in his chest.

He slightly pulled away and placed his hands on your cheeks, wiping your tears away and kissing your forehead.

"I'm sorry I wasn't home and didn't answer my phone. You weren't being childish by getting angry with me. You mean the world to me, I didn't mean to upset you." His apologetic voice made the tears stop flowing. You pulled away from him, wiping your wet eyes and cheeks with the back of your hands.

"I'm sorry too," you whispered, avoiding looking at his face.

He took your chin between his index finger and thumb, making you look him in the eyes. His eyes were soft, looking at you like you were the most beautiful thing in the world. And you were. A small smile curled his lips as he looked over your face in his hand. "You're so beautiful, baby."

You got shy, looking away from him as your tear-stained cheeks became redder and a small smirk took over your lips.

The little gestures like this was what you really liked about Eren. He was always complimenting you, even when you thought you didn't look good, just like right now. He was looking at your tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes and still thought you looked beautiful. You were falling for this man, he knew how to comfort you and make you feel better. You thought it was too early to declare your love for him though, so you didn't say anything.

Little did you know, he felt the same way.