Silver Linings

Chapter Five - I Did Try To Grow It Myself

[28 MAY 2020]

⁂ ZHANG ZHE HAN ⁂

Zhang Zhe Han's heart was beating a little bit faster than normal, while he stood in the elevator that was speeding down towards the ground floor. It wasn't from the exercise he had gotten from the two hours at the driving range early in the morning. He had only perfected his hook by swinging at half speed and then turning his body more aggressively towards the finish. It had felt more like a long warm-up than exercise. No, it was because he would finally speak the first words as Zhou Zi Shu out loud and he would finally hear the words of his Wen Ke Xing. How will he sound? How will I sound? How will we sound? Will there be chemistry? Are we a good fit? Thoughts were swirling around in his head as he went over some scenes in his head. Scenes they would be reciting today.

Nervousness wasn't the feeling that was churning in his stomach. It felt more like he was on edge. He was agitated and restless. He just wanted to get started. He had never acted in a romantic way with a man before—not officially anyway. Goofing around with friends and co-actors was different. This would be real. Well—technically it was acting, but it would still be real. They would have to walk a fine line between the subtle touches, hidden meanings, and blatant stares. There were even a few hugs in the script and to be honest, he had no idea of how this was going to go. He had an idea of how he wanted it to go, how he wanted to feel, how he wanted to make Wen Ke Xing feel and how he wanted the audience to feel.

He would embrace Zhou Zi Shu with all that he had—he was a method actor after all. He had long done a Ctrl + A + Del of his previous character and he had rebooted himself as much as he could in anticipation of this role. He might not have memorized all the lines of Zhou Zi Shu yet, but he had read the script multiple times. Then again, he rarely had to spend much time memorizing scenes, as they tended to come naturally to him in the moment. He had even read the book—twice. The Shan He Ling adaptation didn't have Zhou Zi Shu as sickly and slim as the novel, however, he had lost weight and toned himself into this delicate character of his.

Walking out of the elevator, he was for all intent and purposes a blank canvas and he would not only paint Zhou Zi Shu on that canvas, he would live and breathe his character for the coming four months. Immerse himself into the role completely. He was ready. I am ready.

The table reading was being held in one of the smaller conference spaces on the ground floor of the hotel. Desks were positioned in single rows that followed three of the walls in a U-shape and Zhang Zhe Han spotted the Director Sing Ji Chiu, seated centrally at the far end. Director Sing had Ma Tao to his left and Ma Hua Gan, the other director, to his right. Zhang Zhe Han grabbed a bottle of water from a table right next to the door and walked over to take a seat next to Ma Tao, right on the corner.

He had just opened the bottle, when Gong Jun walked in with the script in his right hand. He was wearing a khaki colored loosely fitted t-shirt, black cargo pants, a dark blue cap that was tilted slightly upward and a black facemask. All you could see of his face were those big round puppy eyes. He looked so innocent that Zhang Zhe Han had the urge to flick the cap off him, just to check what his reaction would be. He wasn't too sure why he felt like he needed to tease the man, but he was sure that he would enjoy it. It had been the same the day before when he'd had the sudden urge to steal that fan from those big hands. And he probably would have, if he hadn't seen Gong Jun tighten his grip around it—as if he was expecting it.

He watched Gong Jun grab a bottle of water, walk around the table on the opposite side and wrangle his long limbs onto the chair next to —who nodded and smiled shyly in greeting. He took off his earbuds and popped them back into their black case and pulled off his facemask. Including the script and his phone, he had a pile of stuff in front of him on the table.