Silver Linings

Chapter Twenty One - One day on, One day off

Author's Note:

Those of you who follow me on Twitter know that I am taking a little bit of a break from Social Media. In all honesty, I am tired of all the bombarding of IG photos and leaked videos. I'm just taking some time to myself and focusing on rehab. I am still trying to write and to make it up to you, this is one of my longer chapters (at least so far).

I hope you guys enjoy it!

⊂(▀▿▀)つ❤

[25 June 2020]

⁂ Zhang Zhe Han ⁂

After four long days of filming on location at the temple, sleeping in the trailer for several nights and not one moment available to go golfing-he would have thought that it would be less intense with a few shorter days on the schedule.

However, on that first day of filming solo scenes in the Nanping Pavilion, he had a subtle annoying feeling simmering between his shoulder blades. This feeling of him being off sometimes made him space out in between takes or during breaks. Maybe it was the fact that it was only the second time it happened, that he didn't realize why he was feeling off. Or maybe it was the thirty five degree heat. Or maybe it was the emotional solo scenes that he did on that first day.

He had still immersed himself into his character and performed as expected-sometimes even better. He listened to the directors talk him through their vision of each scene. Him, giving his point of view of what Zhou Zi Shu would be feeling and suggesting how he should be acting. Together, they came up with the best solutions and ideas for each scene. And if it didn't work for some reason, then they regrouped and changed until it came out as they wanted.

His solo scenes consisted of Zhou Zi Shu revealing to the audience that he had been inserting nails into seven of the most important acupoints along his meridians, thus stopping the natural flow of his qi. It could be considered as suicide. And even though it was a slow and painful death which would take him a few years, it was a suicide, nonetheless. He was also filming all his scenes describing the loss of his brothers, one by one, because of his decision of starting an assassination organization. Zhou Zi Shu-and Zhou Zi Shu alone-felt that he was responsible for ending his entire sect. And in many ways, he was.

Zhang Zhe Han hadn't needed to dig as deep as one would have thought to experience the emotions of Zhou Zi Shu's despair of wanting the current path he was on-to end. Wanting all the things he had done as an assassin to end. Wanting to be free and live his own life on his own terms. Wanting to live the last of his few remaining years in pain, repenting for all his sins. A part of Zhang Zhe Han even respected Zhou Zi Shu for his choice. Even though he himself had never experienced something like it, he had still experienced hardship and tough choices, some with permanent consequences. He had tapped into all those emotions that he had experienced and worked through before, during and after his knee surgeries.

Back then, there had been many discussion about when to do the surgery and what the possible outcomes could be. He had even been forced into the really tough decision of postponing his knee surgery, in order to re-shoot parts of Zhao Ge. By the end, his left knee was in such bad shape that they were not even sure if he would even be able to walk properly in the future-since he required both ACL reconstructive surgery and meniscus surgery.

But it had all worked out in the end. He had worked painstakingly hard and pushed through pain, pain and more pain to get to where he was today. To get to how strong his body was today, bar his knee of course. Though, he had lost his dream of playing basketball. And he had also lost his girlfriend in the process. Those were all the emotions that he now used when he needed them. He might not have been where Zhou Zi Shu was, but when there was despair, hurt, pain, loss, regret, darkness and hope-he had been there and he knew what that was like.