Out of the Blue •Jordan Poole•

Chapter 9 •360•

Naila

"Sis I'm not going to lie to you and say it's going to be a walk in the park because it's not. Being a mom is probably my most difficult job but it's definitely the best job I have. And if you're worried about having that support and help don't, me and ma are here for every step of the way."

I wiped the stray tears that rolled down my face as I sat on FaceTime with my sister.

When I got back home she was the first person I could think of to call because my emotion are literally everywhere.

"I know I just think deep down inside I'm scared." I admitted, "a part of me is excited to see what's it's like to become a mom of my own because I love spending time with Nala you know I already think of her as my own" I chuckled, "but knowing im about to be a mom is so bitter sweat, I'm excited to be a mom but I'm also scared as hell, like what if I'm not a good mom?" I questioned

"Nai you better not even let that thought cross your mind again." Demi said sternly, "look how mom raised us, she raised us both on her own and was so amazing at it, when I became a mother I was nervous as well but I thought about how mom raised us and how she was as a mother and told myself I would be a mother like our mom because we can both agree that we have the best mom in the world. She does every and anything for us, and in those moments your scared to do the wrong thing as a mom just think of what mom would do." She continued.

She wasn't wrong. Our mom has been there through thick and thin our entire lives and it's not because she didn't have a choice, but to her she didn't.

I can't think of a moment in my life where my mother wasn't there even if she didn't have to be she always made it known she was we in our corner no matter what.

Usually when kids grow up with one parent in the home they go through a lot of issues in life but I can honestly say even though I never had my father in my life I never felt like I missed out on a fathers love because my mom always loved us enough for herself and a father, and if she could do it completely by herself with two of us why should I feel I couldn't do it with one?

"You're right." I snapped back out of my thoughts, "I'm just scared I won't be able to carry the load so effortlessly as mom did, or as effortlessly as she made it seem."

"Well your not alone in any of this, and maybe this will be a reason for you and mom to officially move out here so we can just be one big happy family raising these kids." She joked

"You know I would move to Cali in a heartbeat I just don't won't to leave mom if she ain't ready to leave yet."

"Maybe she is."

•

I stepped out the shower grabbing my towel to dry off.

I stood in front of the mirror staring at my stomach. Naturally my hands cupped my stomach before giving it a light rub, "hey baby." I spoke softly

"Well I'm your mommy and as scared as I am to meet you and raise you I'm exited" I continued, "even though mommy has no ideas what it's like to be a mommy just know I'm going to be the best mommy I can for you okay? You're going to be mommy's best friend and mommy's going to be your best friend I promise." I wiped the tears that fell from my eyes as I couldn't take my eyes off of my stomach.

Now that I was starring at my body and studying it I could see a slightly dark line going down my stomach and how my boobs were bigger.

How didn't I realize?

I wrapped my towel around my body and slipped on my slippers before walking out of the bathroom.

As I pulled out my clothes I heard the from door close, "Nai!" My mother voice was heard from downstairs.

"Upstairs!" I yelled back as I slipped on my undergarments.

Moments later there was a knock as the door, "come in."

My door opened revealing my mother in her scrubs, "hey ma." I slightly smiled as I slipped my shirt over my head.

"Hey baby, sit down." She patted the spot next to her on my bed.

I walked over to my bed facing her as I sat down, "you wanna talk?" I asked raising my eyebrow.

"Yeah." She let out a breathe, "first things first are you in contact with the father?" She asked.

"No." I looked down as I played with my finger, "and before you even ask yes I do know who the father is, it's just complicated." I continued.

"Complicated how?" She asked

I looked up at her and seen the concern in her eyes, I know as much as my mother don't want to say it she don't want me to end up like her, raising my kid on my own.

"We'll" I trailed, "he's a basketball player, a professional basketball player who I unintentionally had a one night stand with and now I'm really scared to try and reach out to him because what if he don't care? What if he don't want my baby and I'm really forced to be a single mother? I'm just scared that if I do reach out to tell him I'll be disappointed and I already have enough on my plate." I say honestly.

My mom reached over grabbing my hand as she rubbed her thumb up and down my hand to calm me down.

"I get it, trust me I do. But I also do want you to consider reaching out to him because what if you're wrong? What if he does want it and is excited? And if worse case scenario he doesn't want anything to do with you and this baby then guess what? It looks like they will be raised by their mother, grandmother, and titi. I promise you you'll never be alone in the process but I do want you to try and reach out so that one day you won't regret not doing it. And if you want me right there by your side while you tell him then I will be." She quickly pulled me into a big rubbing my back as tears fell down my eyes.

My life complete just took a 360 turn, and I'm just praying it's for the better and not for the worse.