Rebirth part 6

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Beta read by n1ch, Shigiya, Solitary heart and 8kagi

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-Hidden Cave-

Somehow…

Deep inside my mind, I always knew this mission wouldn't be easy. Rarely had something ever gone as planned. Things tended to run amok and become chaotic soon after.

I remembered my first unofficial mission in Paris. I talked about it a lot because it was the cornerstone of my life, of how I turned out today; its effect is still being felt to this day.

I've changed a lot since then, to the point of being unrecognizable from my past self. I knew that I should as expected as much, it is something natural; as no one stays the same after going through all of this, especially after all of the lives I’ve taken.

I may have grown used to the supernatural, I've even embraced it wholeheartedly even if the rest saw me as nothing more than a walking calamity. Yet a part of me remained which hated the mythical side of the world, it wanted to go away and hide from all this nonsense. Forget everything and live as a hermit deep in the woods where no one would find me. Another part of me still longed to go back even if I made peace with my past life.

And most importantly, a major part of my being–clean of the madness which once plagued Vritra–hated the act of violence and killing.

"Sétante?"

All of these long-forgotten feelings I once had before, came back rushing into my head like a roaring flame. The thought of the many regrets and desires of the past, that it made my head dizzy for a bit, but I did my best to compose myself.

Why would his death affect me this much?

I only had a brief conversation with him, one that held no emotional speech or attachments of sorts. It could be said that we were merely sizing each other up, one side wondering if the other was a danger to themselves or not. He was a potential enemy which I would have needed to kill if he did not surrender.

Despite my disgust at intentionally ending one's life, I've done it many times. I remembered Freed, the man who died one of the most brutal deaths imaginable, barely made me feel anything after killing him. He was a monster, someone who was created to fight the supernatural, that decided to turn its blade on those he was supposed to protect. He raped and murdered anyone that got in his way, or when he just felt like it. Just a rabid dog that needed to be put down for the safety of everyone.. But I still forced myself to acknowledge his worth as a person and make a grave for him, to not forget the value of life and not grow desensitized with killing.

But why… Why do I feel saddened by his death?

'Give the boy a chance…'

Oh right…

'He needs it more than anyone here.'

Because I made a promise to that old witch lady. A promise that should have held no worth to me and should have just ended up as parting words; empty words that held on to my soul with a vice grip.

"I'm sorry…" I said to the corpse, after closing his eyes. I checked his wounds, the man should have died a few hours ago or a day at best. Aside from the stench or iron heavy in the air, there was no rot or decomposition visible anywhere. Even touching his skin I still felt the slight warmth of a person who once was alive.

"Oh shit, it's that guy!" Raynare yelled, her voice echoing throughout the cavern, making me cringe from the noise. I turned my gaze onto her, seeing her confused and surprised look on the Fallen.

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