Military school (bxb book)

Chapter 11

"So you think you like me?" All Clay could do was nod. He had come to terms with that truth just earlier today and now he was admitting to Jay. Which in the moment didn't seem very scary at all.

"Hey that's okay I kissed you first and that means I like you too" was all that Jay could think to say in the moment. Clayton just admitted that he liked him and a wave of relief washed over him. He honestly thought he was pushing it with the kiss, even he knew it was terrible timing but the way Clayton kissed him back gave him some reassurance.

"No you're not getting it, yes I think I like you but I don't know maybe I'm confused about this whole thing". That was the truth, it was Clayton's truth. He has only dated girls and been attracted to only girls his whole life and to have his eyes be completely shifted in such a short amount of time was honestly scary for him.

Clay had to be honest with himself. Jay is beautiful and not like John beautiful in a more feminine way, he's somehow beautiful in a masculine way. He has this beautiful ginger hair, brown eyes that Clayton swear just glow in the sunlight and these freckles all over his face, hands and arms that make him seem so innocent.

Jay's also tall like most male models and he even has an amazing smile. If Clayton really thought about it and if he was given the time, he thinks he could talk about Jay for hours. Picking apart not only every physical feature of Jay but also his personality.

Clayton had come to love that fact that Jay was sweet and went out of his way to do little things to make his and the rest of the boys time here a little easier. Jay was also caring and looked over all of the boys in his bunk, not just because it was his job but because he actually cared about what happened to them and how they were feeling.

Not so caring in this moment though . To Clayton it felt like Jay didn't care that he was still trying to sort through his emotions and figure out what his heart truly wanted. To him it felt like Jay was just happy to hear that he had reciprocated even the smallest bit of these same emotions. He wasn't hearing the fear in Clayton's voice or seeing the fear in his eyes as well. He couldn't hear Clayton's heartbeat that was going absolutely crazy right now.

"Well doesn't that mean something?" Jay says with that same look of hope in his eyes, which was honestly starting to annoy Clay at this point.

"Please can I just have sometime to think about this please? Just to make sure my head is in the right place". At this point Clay was basically pleading, something about the way Jay was acting right now was telling him he wasn't going to let go of this so easily.

"What is there to think about? I like you and you like me. What's so confusing?" Clay hated to admit it but in this moment he truly wanted to punch Jay in the face but quickly decided against it.

"It's not that simple for me, I have a girlfriend back home. How do I tell her I think I'm attracted to another guy?" "You don't tell her anything" has Jay's brain been replaced with a rock? Was all that Clay could think after that very dumb statement.

To be honest Lauren hadn't even been on Clay's mind at all these days. Instead he was just thinking about following the rules here and sorting through his feelings of liking another boy.

Not to say that Lauren Isn't worth thinking about. She has been an amazing girlfriend to Clay so far and had been trying for months to get him to start going to school again. Even being okay with them not being able to go on dates like other couples because his parents took his car keys for his poor attendance at school.

Now that he really thought about it Clay was never really a good boyfriend to Lauren. Yes he loves her but doesn't mean he treated her all that well. If he really loved her, he would have gotten his shit together started going to school and bettering himself for her so that they could go on dates and hangout but instead he was so stuck in his ways.