Just Friends || H.RJ × reader

II. 8

Renjun's POV

In her arms is the only place I feel safe at, the warmth and comfort she gives me.. Is more than what I could ever even deserve in this life.

The sound of the TV playing our favourite movie was barely even audible to my ears, the only sound I could focus on at this very moment was her hums of a lullaby. I closed my eyes to feel and savour the touch she is giving my hair right now, these things are enough to make me sleep and let my guard down.

But not yet, I want to savour this moment first. "You want hot cocoa? With marshmallows?" she asked, I just nodded. I was a bit sad that she stood up but I just waited patiently while watching the movie on the TV.

After a few minutes she came back with two cups of hot cocoa. I took a sip from my cup, it tastes delicious. It wasn't too sweet nor too bland, just right.

This isn't my first Christmas with her, but it always feels like it's our first everytime. It always feel magical everytime, every moment I spend with her, always felt surreal and euphoric to me.

I looked at her, she's blowing her hot cocoa to a temperature she could handle. Even her slightest actions and habits, never failed me to feel mesmerised. That made me wonder, is this how love felt like?

Our eyes met, "What are you looking at?" she asked with a smile. I could feel my cheeks heating up so I averted my focus on the TV once again. "Nothing." I heard her let out an angelic laugh.

~

I panicked slightly when she was nowhere from my sight, but felt relieved when I saw her standing near the Han River, looking deeply at somewhere I still don't know. I cycled towards her.

"There you are! I thought I lost you." I said, placing my hand on my chest dramatically. "Nothing, Han River's scenery just never fails to amaze me everytime. The view here looks beautiful, isn't it?" she smiled from ear to ear.

But little did you know, nothing amazes me more than how your smile amazes me.

Your smile was contagious, I smiled back too. "Yes, specially during spring around this time.", "See!" you grabbed your bike and said to me; "Come and race me, loser pays for lunch!" and me, the idiot who has fallen for you already, agreed at every match that you always start.

Even though at the end I always end up paying for the food.

~

"Like how could that worker be so mean towards me! Like, I have a pretty high position but despite that I never bragged about it, I even treat our workers nicely! Gosh, how could people be so rude!" she punched her pillow repeatedly as she gritted her teeth, clearly mad about earlier's incident.

But nevertheless, she continued; "Like I'm already so stressed with paperworks and meeting and that-! Fricking worker decides to just be rude to me and act all mighty?!" she then crawled towards me and put her head on my chest.

"I'm literally so irritated right now.." she said with eyebrows furrowed, and lips frowning. I chuckled, "There'll always be bad and good days at work Y/N.. Some people are just... Like that. There'll be no use in fighting back, since she might do another bad thing that'll harm you, who knows right? Maybe ask Haechan to fire her or something." I said, and laughed at the last sentence I said.

"That idea doesn't sound bad.." Y/N laughed along with me. Nevertheless, I continued, "But on a serious note, you should just go easy on her, maybe she would go easy to you too eventually. She's only new to the company after all."

She snuggled in my neck a bit more. "Yeah.." silence follows, but it was a different type of silence when it comes between us, a comfortable silence.

Whenever she rants, I always listen intently. Thinking how cute and adorable she is everytime she becomes angry. But of course, I never forget to comfort her at the end.

~

You were at your best when you let your wings spread and fly free. I admired you for growing up to be a strong and wonderful woman, I admire you.

Really.

I really do.

But sometimes, the past just haunts me.

"Am I deserving of being with you?", "What if at the end we don't work out?", "What if when you're finally with me, you'll not be free anymore?"

Those very thought always echoed in my head repeatedly everyday. And when Hyunjin came and manipulated me, I came to a conclusion that maybe he's right. That you'll be better off with him. After all, he has the visuals, the intelligence, the talent, and the love and support he gained from everyone.

He seemed as if he was too perfect to be real, or so that's what I thought back then, until he showed his true colors.

I couldn't bring myself to fight him back and stand up for myself whenever he belittles me, because I always think that maybe he was right.

He... Wasn't right after all.

When I saw you crying and devastated finding out what he's done.. I not only hated myself but felt strong sense of regret and guilt seeing your beautifully sculpted face stained with as clear as a crystal tears. However, I still couldn't bring myself to blame Hyunjin.

Specially after seeing what state he's in right now.