weakness | t.k

i cant handle change

Our parents decided our mother would be the one gaining new residency since this house was in my father's name.

Mother searched for houses while our father just couldn't handle such an event. He was drunk almost every day.

I continued writing my story, which I decided to call 'eleutheromania'.

(timeskip)

About a week and a half later, mother found a house that she liked and she brought us to check it out.

"Kimiko hun, this would be your room. I know you and Lev are close so I selected your rooms to be right next to each other" my mother said with a soft smile. I simply nodded, returning her soft smile.

I felt that it'd be a good time in this house.

(timeskip)

Mother had bought the house and we were buying furniture for our rooms and the rest of the house.

I was going for a greenhouse bedroom kind of vibe, I've always liked nature.

I walked around the store and picked out some white bedding to compliment my wooden bed frame.

I went ahead and found some plants and bought a bunch of them.

On our way back home, I conversed with my mother about some stuff.

"When we went to Miyagi last week it was because one of my friends from Karasuno needed some tutoring. To be honest, it took a lot less time than I expected, all I had to do for math was put everything in volleyball terms" I said laughing with a small blush. "Speaking of volleyball, what do you do as the manager of Lev's volleyball team?" My mother asked with a newfound interest in my life. "I analyze all of the players' performance and tell them what they need to improve on. Oh, I also fill up their water bottles and give them their towels at games." I said.

We soon invited Lev into the conversation and he spoke about Hinata and random stuff.

We arrived at our new home and since the moving people had already moved our mattresses and other furniture in, I got to decorating.

(timeskip)

After about four and a half hours I came at least close to finishing. I went to my desk area to fill in the calendar hanging on my wall a bit since my life would become even more complicated than it already was.

I looked around my room and realized that I had no clothes in this house.

"Lev, do you wanna go to dad's house and get some of our clothes?" I asked from my room. A faint 'sure' was heard from his room, so I put my shoes on and walked out, and waited on the porch. Lev walked out soon enough. Thankfully the houses weren't that far apart

"It's still so surreal to me that we have two different houses now and we'll be switching consistently" Lev said. "Same, I know it's not my place, but I want to know what happened while they were on that trip" I admitted.

Soon enough we made it to our father's residence. We didn't bother knocking we just barged in. I went to my room upstairs and grabbed half of my good clothes and half of my not-so-good clothes.

I put them in a suitcase and took them downstairs silently since it sounded like my father was grieving over a death of some sort.

I met Lev downstairs and we began to walk back to our current residence, where I put my clothes away in my closet.

I went back to my desk and sat down. I looked around. This is a reality now, there's nothing we can do about it now I thought to myself.

I decided to ignore my thoughts for the time being. I hadn't eaten in a couple of days, I stiand ll had no appetite but I decided to eat since I did feel myself becoming more and more lethargic.

Walking downstairs to my surprise I saw Lev cooking a meal with our mother.

"Oh, so you were awake" Lev said. "Come join in on the cooking!" Mother said. I went ahead and walked to the counter to help Lev cut some potatoes. I love potatoes so much It's funny, maybe that's why my mother decided to make potatoes today.

"Put those potatoes in the oven at 350 degrees for about 30-40 minutes, then 20 minutes add some butter and some of the seasoning mix" My mom said reading the directions from the recipe she found online. "Lev, would you rather have corn, chicken, and rice or carrots, chicken and rice with the potatoes?" Mother questioned. "Hmm... I think the corn option" Lev replied.

It felt like a real family, we haven't had dinner all together since Lev and I was 10-12 years old.

We sat at the table, of course, the house wasn't completely decorated so it was a bit empty.

"Lev you take the first bite" I said. "Alright then" he said kinda laughing at me.

He gobbled that potato up because apparently, it was scrumptious.

After eating only half of my plate, which was a big step from not eating at all, I excused myself from the table thanking them for the meal.

It was approaching the time that I usually headed to sleep, I freshened up and lay down in my bed.

Before bed, I thought about it and I'm scared of the reality I have to live in. But hey, life goes on, it's not going to be easy I thought to myself before attempting to go to sleep.

I tried so hard to sleep, that I even put on some white noise. I just wouldn't stop shaking.

♫I know its not your fault♫

♫Still, lately, I begin to shake♫

♫For no reason at all♫

I was shaking so violently that I had to sit up.

"Hey, Kimi-" Lev said before rushing over to grab my shaking hands "Kimiko, it's ok." he said grabbing my hands to make them stop shaking." Take deep breaths alright? I'm sleeping in here tonight." Lev declared.

A couple of minutes after Lev consoled me more, I was finally able to rest.

~

A/N

idk i wanted to use this song to express her hidden fear of change

ik its kinda crunchy lmfao i wrote most of it in school.

rereading this chapter like 3 and a half months later I kinda hate it but I don't feel like changing it.

abt 2 months later from that ^ I kinda changed it :D

1058 words