Constellations

crater

Never give a fuck about those who don't give a fuck about you.

It's a fact of life. Surprisingly, not enough people can wrap their mind around the concept. Why waste your time and energy on someone that won't reciprocate? You never know when today could be your last, so why spend it thinking about a person that belittles your impeccable existence?

It's because us humans are sympathetic little creatures. The ability to sympathize is a bitch. Which is why when you care about someone, you have to consistently nag yourself about putting yourself first. Otherwise you're in an aimless abyss only as good as the other person wants you to be. That happened when I got into that shitty relationship with my ex and I vowed to myself never to let it happen again.

Yet here I am, stupidly responding to the texts of a guy that'll only speak to me through words on a screen.

I truly don't know how I let this happen, much less why. One night I got a text from a random number who turned out to be Dean and the nights after that have been spent purely in conversation with him. Yes, the same guy I'd been complaining about last week because he wouldn't let me be alone.

Conveniently, I don't want to be alone and suddenly he's not around. The fact that I want him around is...disconcerting to say the least. He hasn't shown up to the library like he did all last week and he's hardly said a word to me in school. But oh the amount of things he has to say over text.

I know what he's playing at. Guys here at school do it all the time. They keep girls under wraps so that they can continue messing around with multiple at a time. It's fucking stupid. And I hate being kept hidden.

I've read between the lines of every text message sent. Analyzed every acronym and thought twice about every question. He hasn't shown me that he's texting me for any other reasons besides getting to know me. However, if this do take a different turn, I'm cutting him off ASAP. One, I'm not going to be another girl that falls for his charms and ends up hurt because of it. Two, I just got out of a fucking relationship and no matter how angry I am at Corbin, I still respect that. And three, my brother would absolutely fucking flip.

Like Corbin, Dean is considered an asshole in Emrys' eyes as well. He thinks like my dad, no guy is good enough for me. When he found out me and Corbin were a thing, it took him all of four hours to keep it to himself before blabbing about it to our dad and everyone knew that was a recipe for disaster. I had received the longest lecture of a lifetime after that, no drugs, no sex, no teen pregnancy, Dad surely pulled out all the stops. I still somehow managed to convince him Corbin and I were no more than talking. Turns out that made things worse when I introduced him as my boyfriend a few weeks later.

Taking this little texting thing any further was far out of the realm of possibilities so to say.

Besides, Dean has his attention geared towards Amalia.

Last time I saw them, she was hugging and kissing him happily, so all seemed to be paradise. I'd secretly hoped someone from admin would walk past and snatch them apart, but that never happened so I continued on my way. I don't know why seeing him with her bothered me so much now. I knew of their fling since before break, but I see them around a lot more often and it just irks me.