Still breathing | Carl Grimes TWD

06

"Daryl wait! Wait. Before you try to beat the shit out of Rick, you need to see someone," Jenny tried to reason with my father.
"And who the fuck would that be," he said, pissed off.

Jenny slowly looked over at me, she smiled at me and motioned that I come to them. Then Dad looked over.

"Hi, daddy," I muttered while staying where I was.

"Clary..."

Dad ran over and picked me up, holding me in a tight hug as he was in disbelief.
Slowly, I hugged him back. The feeling was foreign to me now. I could feel how shaky his breathing was, how he was holding back tears.

"I'm so sorry. I should have been there," He said while putting me down, he kept his hands on my arms, like I would disappear if he didn't. "I should have never left you with him, I should have never left you alone. We should have taken you with us- I should have looked harder."

Never in my life have I ever seen my dad like this. I couldn't tell if I should feel happy or sad. He kept apologizing, but it wasn't his fault. It was mine, maybe if I had found a different place in the house I would have never been separated from him and Uncle Merle. But I'm glad I didn't.

"It's not your fault, Dad, It's in the past now. I'm here now," I gave him a weak smile. "That's what matters."

Then Ford barked and got Dad's attention. Dad looked at Ford and then at me, "Whose dog is that?"
I grinned, "Mine, his name is Ford, and he's a badass."

After our little reunion, we went somewhere a little more private to talk. Dad, Ford, and I were sitting by his tent as I was telling him about the city and everything I knew about the Merle situation.

"So this Rick guy left your uncle handcuffed to a roof," Dad asked again. I just nodded, "Apparently. I never saw Merle. Rick and I got separated after getting cornered by walkers. Rick and Glenn had gone up the ladder, but I refused to because Ford well can't go up ladders."
"How long's this dog been with you?" "I met him about a week after this whole thing started, I got cornered and he sorta saved my ass," I patted Ford's head.

We sat there in silence for a minute. Dad was thinking, I knew what he was thinking. He was going to try and not let me go to the city with him.
"I already know what you're thinking, and I'm not staying here," I stated. He looked at me annoyed, "It's not safe."
"Safe my ass! Nowhere is safe anymore, and being in that city is safer than being around these idiots."

"Clarissa." "Dad."

"You're staying here and that's final," He said while grabbing his shit and getting up. I groaned.
"I should have never left you alone, isn't that what you were saying earlier! Well then don't leave me alone, take me with you and protect me yourself!"

He turned and looked at me. He knew I was right. Not only that, but he let out a humorless laugh while shaking his head.

☢︎︎☢︎︎☢︎︎

I have always been good at winning arguments with my father, it's always been a specialty of mine. That is why now, Ford and I sat in the back of this truck. Glenn, Rick, Dad, T-Dog, myself, and Ford are all going to the city to "rescue" Uncle Merle.

The ride to the city didn't have much conversation, other than the conversations Glenn and I would have. Rick tried to talk to me, but I'd just ignore him and give him the silent treatment. I know it's rude, but he lied to me.

The truck stopped. "We have to go by foot now," Glenn said, looking in the back. We all got out and started walking.
We went through some wire and all started jogging for no good reason. Then Rick asks, "Merle or the guns first?"
"That's not even a question! Merle," Dad yelled.
"Yes, it is! Glenn, you know the geography, what do you think?"
Glenn answered, "Merle. If we got the guns, we'd be doubling back and wasting time."