Afterglow || Tommy Lee

30. In A New York Minute

New York City New York, November 15 2002

"...no I know... I know baby..." I say holding my cell phone to my ear as I stand in front of the floor length mirror in my hotel room trying to decide what to wear.

I had set up a gig for Damageplan in New York to have some record labels scout them for a potential deal. They had a few offers over the last couple of months but nothing that they felt were right for them, so I sent out a couple of invites to some independent labels and it seems that a representative from Elektra records got word on their gig tonight at Irving Plaza.

"Fuck, I can't fucking believe after everything, she'd fuckin' pull this shit. We were finally in a good place and then this..." Tommy says to me.

"I know baby," I say.

Tommy had to stay back home and meet with his lawyers about what to do with the custody lawsuit that Pam had served him with. When we came home after the Vegas Hard Rock Cafe and Casino opening, Pam had decided to stop visitation with Brandon and Dylan. We weren't even able to have the boys for Christmas which broke Tommy's heart, and mine too of course. It totally came out of nowhere. She's claiming that because of everything that has happened in the past between her and Tommy, along with accusations of him still doing drugs and partying, he's somehow not fit to have visitation for long periods of time.

It's absolutely insane. I have no idea where she got the idea to do this but it's completely uncalled for. Everything that she is claiming is a complete lie and it doesn't make sense given the fact that though her and I have only engaged with each other maybe a handful of times - most of the time when we're picking up the boys or if it's a drop off to our house, she has the nanny do it and pretends she isn't home - we've always been fine with each other. Like, we're definitely not friends but we're civil when it comes to Brandon and Dylan. She knows Tommy has been clean since '98 and yes he does have a few drinks here and there but it's never to the point where he's out of control and it's never around the boys.

"I fuckin' wish I could be there with you baby," He says so sweetly.

"I know, I wish you could be here too. It's weird here without you. I miss you," I say. It's the first time we've been apart since before we got married. I hate that we're apart. I know it's only been a few days so far but I miss him like crazy, and I hate that he has to meet with his lawyers alone.

"I miss you so fuckin' much. You're the only one that can keep me sane during all this shit. You're the only fuckin' thing that's good in my life, I swear," He pauses, then after a few moments he says, "Alright enough about my shit...how's everything going there?"

"Uh, well the gig is tonight and I'm so fucking nervous. There's a rep from Elektra records that somehow heard about the show and he's showing up tonight -"

"Really, who babe? Is it Tom?"

Tom Zuaut was the guy who originally signed Motley to Elektra back in '82 after he saw the guys play live and heard their To Fast For Love Album on their own label at the time, Leathur Records.

"I have no idea, I just know that there are a couple of labels interested in them and I'm freaking out," I say as I toss the shirt that I was holding onto the bed and pick up my plain black long sleeve dress, holding it to myself in the mirror trying to decide what would be better.

"Awe baby, don't freak out, you got this, you know you do," He says.

"Maybe... I don't know... I swear it feels like I have no idea what I'm doing," I say apprehensively as I glance at myself in the mirror doubting everything like I usually do. "And it doesn't help that I have no idea what to wear,"