How To Be Straight

gєт rι∂ of тнoѕє gℓαѕѕєѕ

CHAPTER 2

[ Calvin ]

"Since when were glasses considered gay?" I glanced up from the paper I was holding, my brow furrowing in confusion and my lips twisting into a frown.

Derek propped open the fridge and retrieved a protein shake from the top shelf. "Since two seconds ago, when I said so."

I returned my gaze to the paper, overlooking the list of things he had written down to get me to be straight, or at least pretend to be straight. Even though I had gone along with our plan, I was still having doubts. Nothing about this seemed right and everything about this seemed stupid. "Yeah, but I need them to see."

He rolled his eyes. "Get contacts."

My eyes widened in horror. "No, no, no, no. I am scared of contacts."

Derek stifled a laugh. "Get over it."

I gave him an incredulous look. "No, I'm not doing that. Wearing glasses is not gay."

Sighing, Derek cracked open the seal on the protein shake and downed half the bottle in just a few gulps. When he returned his attention to me, he ran a lazy hand through his dark shaggy hair and sighed. "But wearing contacts will attract more girls, which consequently, will give the illusion that you get pussy for days."

I continued to frown. "Pussy for days? Why do you have to make it sound so gross?"

He whipped back around, raising an eyebrow. "You think pussy is gross?"

I stared at him in disbelief for a few moments, before sighing and shaking my head. Once I recollected himself, I shifted my attention to the living room. I could clearly remember the days we spent hours playing video games and his mother had to make hot dogs to get us to stop. "I see your house hasn't changed a bit," I commented.

"Why? Did you expect it to?"

"No, I just-" I pressed his lips together and sighed. "I just, it's been a while."

The last time I talked to Derek was the summer before freshman year, when we went on and on about how high school was going to be so fun. I thought we were going to be friends forever, but on the first day of school, he found people who were much more interesting than me. Before I even had time to understand it, Derek had become the most wanted boy in the entire school.

It wasn't exactly how I expected our friendship to end, but there wasn't any point in trying to talk to him anymore. He had moved on, and so had I.

I looked up to see him staring at me skeptically. "So, are you, like, seriously gay though? Or were you just messing with me?"

I sighed. "Yes, Derek, I live to mess with you."

Rolling his eyes, he popped open the oven when the timer sounded, and tugged out the batch of pizza rolls. "I'm not trying to be rude anything," he said in an effort to sound less like a douche, "but you've had plenty of girlfriends in middle school."

"Middle school girlfriends," I repeated with a serious expression. "Wow!" If he thought having a girlfriend when I was twelve counted as being straight, then he really was stupid.

"Well, what about Gracie Hudson? I could have sworn you two hooked up."

"Then you swore wrong," I snapped back.

He snatched one of the pizza rolls from the freshly-made batch and tossed it into his mouth. "So I'm guessing you're still a virgin, then?"

My lips twitched into a small smile. "Just because I didn't hook up with any girls, doesn't mean I'm a virgin."