How To Be Straight

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CHAPTER 38

      [ Calvin ]

The next couple weeks passed by rather slowly; each day was more sluggish than the last. This new found stagnant clock allowed for many events to occur, like my mom's doctor boyfriend coming over everyday to woo his way into her pants. She would always tell me that they were friends and nothing more, but there was no way you could be friends with someone who looked like he had just stepped out of a Calvin Klein commercial.

We heard word from Nicolas' host family that he was doing well. I haven't talked to him since that day in the ice cream shop, but I knew he had to have been getting better since his host father signed him up for therapy. Even though he brought me through hell and back, I wished him well.

It seemed as though everyone around me was getting their lives together. As for me, my life was falling apart. Derek hasn't talked to me since he broke up with me, no matter how much I texted and called him. I told myself that I wouldn't give up on him and I would fight for him if I truly loved him. Those plans fell short when I showed up at school the next day and Derek didn't even acknowledge my existence. He had gone back to the popular asshole that everyone seemed to love with a new girl draped over his shoulder every hour of the day.

I couldn't go back to school after that, so it was safe to say that I haven't left my bedroom in two weeks. My mom tried to feed me some bullshit about not needing a boyfriend to be happy, but it wasn't very convincing knowing that the divorce turned her into an insomniac.

My cell phone vibrated on my bedside table and I practically shot out of bed to grab it, desperately hoping it was Derek. When I caught a glimpse of the caller ID and saw my mother's name, I sighed heavily before picking up. "Hello?"

"Calvin, honey, get out of your room," my mother's voice flowed through the speakers. "It's been two weeks."

I fell back onto the bed and pulled the sheets over me. "No," I spat, "there's no point."

She sighed. "Yes, there is. I made breakfast. Pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs."

I was internally thankful that she couldn't see that I was grimacing. "Mom, you suck at cooking."

"Calvin, get out of your room, now," she demanded just before ending the phone call.

With a long, frustrated groan, I tossed my phone into the untidy depths of my room and cupped my hand over my face, using my fingers to wipe the sleep out of my eyes. It really sucked that Derek was having such an effect on me. I had already gone through Derek's rejection before without wasting sleep over it, but now it was different. He managed to make me fall in love with him and I couldn't just stop my heart from feeling the way it did about him.

As I swung my legs over the edge of my bed, I caught a glimpse of the signed Sam Smith CD atop my bedside table. I knew it was a bad idea to surround myself with memories of Derek, but I just couldn't help myself. I never really noticed until now, but I needed Derek in my life and I was willing to have him in any way possible.

I snatched the CD case from the table and flipped it open, smiling when I saw Derek's sloppy handwriting on the inside cover.

Hey baby! Sorry I threw your Sam Smith CD out of the car. That was kind of a dick move, so I bought you a new one. Take care of it because it cost me an arm and a leg, it read.

It didn't matter that I had read the message over a million times now because I still had hope that this wasn't going to be the end of our relationship. If he really loved me like he said he did, then being away from each other should have been killing him just as much as it was killing me.