How To Be Straight

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CHAPTER 36

     [ Calvin ]

The air was oddly cold. It made my hair stand on end and made my heart rate speed up in my chest, but then again, that could've just been due to the fact that I was walking alongside Nicolas, who had insisted on keeping a close distance.

As soon as school let out, I rushed to the parking lot to meet up with Nicolas like I promised I would and sent a quick text message to Derek, letting him know that I planned on staying at school to work on a project. The thought of telling him the truth about where I was actually going crossed my mind, but I quickly dismissed it. That would only make him hover over my shoulder and although I appreciated his concern, he had other things to worry about, like Mike.

"You are tense," Nicolas noted from beside me, making me lift my head from my cell phone.

"Huh?" I asked, slightly startled by his voice.

"Your shoulders," he clarified as his gaze dropped to my shoulders. "You are tense."

I hadn't even realized that I was a little on edge until he pointed it out. I had every right to be, considering all the other events that occurred when I was left alone with Nicolas, but I played it off with a small smile. "Oh, um, sorry. I'm just, uh, tired. I guess..."

He nodded and stopped abruptly in front of my car, raising an expectant brow at me as I circled around the car to the driver's seat. As I fumbled for my car keys in my pocket, he spoke from the other side of the vehicle, loud enough for me to hear. "I will not harm you, Calvin. I would prefer to kill myself before that happens."

My brows tugged together at the sound of his words and before I could stop myself, I scoffed in disbelief just as I unlocked the doors and slipped into the driver's seat. "Maybe not physically, but emotionally."

Nicolas took his rightful place in the passenger seat. "That was never my intent."

I turned the key into the ignition and started to car up. "Yeah, because blowing up my boyfriend's car was entirely accidental," I spat with sarcasm dripping from my tongue.

He pressed his lips together in a thin, firm line. "He deserved it," he said through gritted teeth.

I decided it was best not to respond; instead, I carefully backed out of my parking space and sped out of the school campus. I didn't have a destination in mind, so I was sorta hoping Nicolas would pitch in a few ideas, but he remained silent. I wasn't sure if it was because he was upset with me, or because he had gotten lost in the clouds. Whatever the reason, I needed to squash the silence for the sake of my own sanity.

"Where do you want to go?" I inquired.

He shrugged carelessly. "Anywhere is fine, as long as I am with you."

My grip on the steering wheel unconsciously tightened as I swallowed a lump in my throat. I could vividly remember the days when I melted at his persistent compliments. I could vividly remember the days when I lived to spend time with him. I could vividly remember the days when I didn't feel so scared around him. All of that had seemingly changed in a blink of an eye.

"Ice cream, then?" I asked in an effort to lighten the mood.

He reached over to rest his hand on my knee. "That sounds perfect."