How To Be Straight

∂on'т кιѕѕ oтнєr вoуѕ

CHAPTER 5

[ Calvin ]

"Hey, why do you like him?" Derek questioned me as he plopped onto the bean bag chair and grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl placed in between us. He stuffed them all into his mouth and chewed, loud and obnoxiously.

I lifted my gaze to his and tried not to grimace at the sight of each kernel sloshing around in his mouth. "What?"

"Frenchy," he clarified. "Why do you like him, anyway? He looks like a fairy."

I let out a heavy sigh as I pinched the bride of my nose and put my controller down beside me. "He has a name."

Derek's dumbfounded expression still hadn't changed. "Whatever," he spat. "Why do you like him?"

Never in a million years would I have ever thought that I'd be having a conversation with Derek about my crush on a fellow male. "He's cute," I told him and it was as much as I was going to say.

Derek's straight nose crinkled in disgust and I hated that it arose a feeling of shame inside me. I shouldn't have cared about Derek's opinion of me, because it shouldn't have mattered. But here I was, feeling guilty for something I couldn't control.

"You know what? Forget I said anything." I returned my attention to the TV screen in hopes of changing the subject.

Derek obviously didn't get the hint. "When did you turn gay?"

My hands balled into tight fists and my jaw clenched at Derek's poor choice of words. "I didn't turn gay."

He rolled his eyes and shoved me, hard. "You know what I meant."

I reciprocated the eye-roll and fixed my attention on the TV. I could still feel Derek's curious eyes on me, showing he wasn't going to give up until I gave him an answer. Sighing, I turned to face him. "Eighth grade."

He paused to think back to our middle school years. "No, impossible."

"How is it impossible?"

"I would've known," he replied quickly. "I would've noticed when you started to act gay."

If I wasn't so sure that I'd end up hurting myself, I would've punched him in the face right there and then. "No, you wouldn't have noticed because just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm going to act any different."

"But I'm good at noticing things."

He was wrong. Oh, so wrong. "You thought Kayla's boobs were real when they clearly weren't."

Derek blinked in bewilderment. "Kayla's boobs are fake?"

I let out the millionth sigh for that day, but I didn't bother responding. It was hard to think that I was best friends with Derek when our personalities were so different.

Derek nudged me again. "So, how did it happen?"

The conversation was growing too personal for my liking. "Derek," I said with a cold glare.

"Tell me."

"No."

His voice grew deeper and more demanding. "Tell me."

"No."

He sighed. "Calvin."

"Derek."

"Tell me."

There was no way I was going to tell him if I wanted to get through the night without a broken nose.

I had never wanted to admit this to myself, but I first realized I was gay when Derek got his first girlfriend. Back in middle school, he wasn't nearly as attractive and popular as he was now. In fact, he didn't have any friends other than me. We would always talk about potential girl friends, but we never thought much about it because we were practically losers and no one wanted to date a loser.