How To Be Straight

ℓιє, ℓιє, αn∂ ℓιє

CHAPTER 40

[ Calvin ]

I always knew Derek was an asshole. It was like it came naturally to him, so he didn't really have to try. He could break someone's heart without lifting a finger and without feeling any remorse. With time, I had learned to accept the fact that Derek wasn't the nicest the person in the world.

What I didn't know was that Derek was capable of bullying someone. He might have been able to speak his mind without worrying about the repercussions, but I never thought he could be so heartless to humiliate someone and make them wish that they never existed.

Because that was exactly how I felt.

I wanted to disappear. I wanted to be invisible. I wanted to escape whatever reality I was facing when all those people witnessed Derek bluntly say that he didn't give a damn about me. But of course, my wishes were granted and I had to continue throughout the day while people stared at me while talking about me like they thought I wasn't listening.

As soon as school let out, I had practically bolted out of the school building and rushed home before I could drive myself insane with all the whispers and murmurs. During the drive, I had tried to accept the fact that Derek and I were over, like truly over, and that nothing was ever going to change that. It was fun while it lasted, but now it was time to move on.

And that would have been a hell of a lot easier to do if Mike hadn't showed up at my door about an hour after school ended.

He was still dressed in the same clothes from earlier-a plain t-shirt and khakis. I had to do a double take at first, because I couldn't actually believe that he was showing up at my doorstep without Derek attached to his side. He made it very clear that he didn't like me with all of his rude comments, so my astonishment was genuine.

"What are you doing here," I said as a demand rather than a question. I fully expected him to be kissing Derek's ass like the leech that he was.

He gave me a bright, somewhat-but-not-totally creepy smile. "I came to apologize on Derek's behalf."

"On Derek's behalf?" I questioned. "What? So he's too much of an ass to do it himself?"

Mike teetered back and forth on his heels and intertwined his fingers behind his back before hesitantly saying, "Well, he didn't actually send me here to apologize ... but I know he's sorry, so I thought I'd do it for him. You know how he is. It'll take him a while to really get himself together."

Out of pure irritation, I poked the inside of my cheek with my tongue. "No, I don't know how he is. I thought he loved me, but that's obviously not true."

"He does love you, okay?" He tried to assure you. "He's just in a dark place right now and-"

"A dark place?" I interrupted him, an incredible amount of disbelief in my voice. "He broke up with me."

Mike seemed to realize what he had said and immediately tried to retract his words. "No, I didn't mean it like that, but he's..." He scratched the back of his neck and glanced up at the ceiling, contemplating what to say. When he realized he couldn't think of anything, he sighed, "...look, I don't know. All I know is that he was drunk out of his mind when he said those words to you and he doesn't really mean them."

The old Calvin would've believed him. The old Calvin would've jumped at the opportunity to make things right with Derek, again. The old Calvin would've gave in easily. But the new Calvin wasn't going to waste his time on someone who didn't lose sleep over him.

"I appreciate your concern," I said with a fake smile, as I walked back into the house and made my way to the kitchen, "but I've already moved on."