The Fight You Couldn't Win

Chapter Eighteen

I had been resting my eyes for only a few minutes after Clint had left when there was knock at the door.

I opened one eye, then the other when I saw who it was.

Bucky and I grinned widely at each other, relieved to see one another.

"Hey doll."

"Hey baby. Are those for me?"

He was carrying a colourful bouquet of flowers that were arranged beautifully, and tied with a cute little ribbon.

"Of course."

He set them down on the chair then came over and sat on the bed next to me. I leaned forward to kiss him and he did the same.

"I hope you don't mind, I brought someone with me."

I looked past him at the man still hovering in the doorway.

"Steve?"

"Hi y/n" he stepped properly into the room. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay."

Steve took a seat. I looked back at Bucky.

"Um, Clint told me... everything, I think" he said quietly.

"I'm sorry I lied" I quickly apologised. I felt horrible that I had. "I was kinda in denial about the whole thing."

"I'm really sorry doll. I wish there was something I could do."

"Yeah, me too."

"Are you mad, that I invited Steve?"

"No, of course not. Why would I be?"

"Well it's not really my news to share... it's your decision but I thought maybe you should tell the others."

"I think so too. I guess they'd probably notice that I disappeared."

"We'd definitely notice" Steve chimed in.

"Mhm. I really missed you yesterday" Bucky added.

"Sorry. I didn't have my phone. I actually still don't."

"Oh, right" Steve said, the started rifling through a bag he had brought. "Here you go" he revealed your phone. "Found it in the living room."

"Thanks, Steve" I smiled at him.

I had like a dozen notifications, a lot of them from Bucky. He saw his name on my screen.

"I was worried" he laughed embarrassedly.

I felt my smile slowly fade for a moment. I looked at Steve.

"Hey Capsicle could you give us a minute?"

"No, yeah, of course" he stood up and immediately headed out. "Just call me back in when you're ready."

He closed the door behind him.

"Is everything okay?" Bucky asked, gently tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Bucky I love you..."

"I love you too."

"... and that's why I don't think I can do this to you."

"Do what?"

"It's not fair. I wish we had figured this out sooner."

"Y/n, what are you talking about?"

"I don't... think we should be together."

"What?" Bucky looked heartbroken. "Y/n..."

I hated this too. Tears formed in my eyes but I ignored them and tried to continue.

"I'm dying, Bucky. I don't have a future beyond next month. I don't think we should stay together if we know this isn't going to work out; we know that there is no future for both of us. I'm sorry. It's not fair, especially to you. I really wish this didn't have to happen. I- I am really sorry."

"Doll you have nothing to apologise for. None of this is your fault, so you don't need to say sorry... I want you to be happy. I know it's hard right now, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to make it happen. If you would feel better if we separated, fine. But y/n, you can tell me we're going to break up, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop loving you. Not for a single second."

I was silently crying as I listened to him. He brushed my hair back as it was sticking to my face with the tears.

"So we can do this" he continued. "Or you can let me love you and support you and be there for you in every way possible... you can't stop me from doing it anyway, you just won't get kisses as well."

I made up my mind. I held onto his top and pulled him towards me until my lips could reach his. And I kissed him. I kissed him like it made me forget everything that was going to happen.

He pulled back for a moment, grinning.

"We can stay together?" he asked hopefully.

I nodded. "I love you baby."

"I love you too doll" he smiled and kissed me again.

Of course I still felt bad that our time together was limited, but in the end, it's quality not quantity.

I may have only been one chapter in his story, but he was going to be the last chapter in mine.

To me, that's the most important part.