Lost and Found

Chapter 33 | The truth can break you

No air to breathe

Tears

Her mother's warm hand on her icy cheek

People with gloves

An oxygen mask

Something pinching her arm

And blackness in between.

The bright hospital lights shine on the ceiling. Julia closes her eyes again as a headache is pounding her head. Any panic she felt before left her exhausted body. Julia shivers under the blankets. If only Mason were here so she could steal his warmth. No, Mason shouldn't be here. What would he think of her? Another breakdown, really? She was doing better. She was going to face her past—her fears.

"Hello, Julia," Jada sits down on the chair next to her. Opening her eyes, Julia squeezes her fist around her blankets. "A lot happened today, didn't it?"

Julia nods her head. "It isn't fair," she sniffs. Why is this happening to her? What did she do wrong to be bullied by life like this?

"Can you tell me what happened?" Jada's soft voice matches her kind face.

Julia shakes her head. Her brain is scrambled, and her memories are blurry. "Everything was perfect," Julia whispers.

"And why isn't it perfect anymore?"

Is Jada serious? Why? "Because people are liars, and I'm too broken." Although Julia feels like crying, she doesn't. Has she run out of tears, or does it have something to do with what the paramedics gave her?

"Why do you think you're broken, Julia?"

She shakes her head. What's up with the stupid questions? She's too exhausted for this, yet she answers. "What normal person keeps breaking down like this? Who's life is so messed up like mine? I'm always so tired–"

"It would surprise you how many people suffer from panic attacks. Sometimes we break down, Julia. But we can get back up again." Jade rests her hands on Julia's arms. She loses her grip on the blankets, and the colour returns to her knuckles. "I have so much trust in your strength, in you, but it's okay to lean on the people who love you and accept the help they give."

"Where's my mom?"

A chair scrapes on the floor, and a warm hand strokes her cheek. "I'm right here, sweetheart," her mother says.

"Why don't I give you two a moment to talk? I'll be right outside if you need me." Jada squeezes Julia's arm and leaves the room.

Thoughts try to overflow her brain, but something numbs everything down. "Mom, I'm scared." Julia turns to her mother and meets her sweet eyes. "I don't understand anymore."

"I know, sweetheart. I'm so sorry."

Julia frowns. "Why are you sorry?" A tear rolls down Julia's face, and she shakes her head. "It's true, isn't it? Why did dad do it? Why didn't I know?" There are so many questions floating through her head. Which one does she pick first?

Tears fill her mother's eyes. "I don't know—I couldn't—You only had your dad left. I couldn't stain your dad's image."

"But I missed you...  And I blamed you. It was unfair–"

"But I never blamed you, Julia. I understand."

"No! There's nothing to understand. Why aren't you angry—" How can her mother be so calm? Her dad kidnapped her from her life and let her believe it was her mother who was at fault.

"I've been angry, Julia. God knows how angry I've been. And I fought for you, prayed, and wished upon every star."

Julia's breath shakes. The room starts to spin.