Run (A Shawn Mendes Fan-fic)

Chapter Seven: Panic Attack

I wake to the quiet silence of a simple morning. I may have a severe back cramp and I may be feeling trapped in my small bunker with the curtain closed but as the new Skylar always says, 'take the bad with the good.' The good being the fact that I actually know where I am this morning and I'm not alone. Wait scratch that, as I peek around my bed curtain I realize that nobody else is in the beds.

I stumble out of bed, suddenly scared. I don't want to be alone anymore I worry, frantically running down the hallway until I'm standing in the small kitchen. Nobody. I spin around taking in the small view outside the front window. It looks like we're stopped at a gas station. I examine the remains of someone's leftovers on the coffee table and instantly think of Carter. Why can't I think rationally? It's probably just Shawn's or the body guard's but all I can think is Carter. He's coming to get me, he'll never stop until I'm dead or suffering.

"Shawn!" I scream, sprinting down the other side of the bus until I run straight in to a hard chest.

"Woah, are you alright?"

I screech, flinching away, quickly realizing that that is NOT Shawn's voice.

"Skylar, right? Are you okay? Is there a problem?" The man asks, continuing to interrogate me when I'm literally shaking in fear. I know he's just the bodyguard but I can't shake this feeling of pure fear running through my veins. It doesn't matter who he is, all men his size will forever scare me who aren't Shawn. That's the conclusion that I've come to. Besides there's something that's off about him, it's a bit unsettling.

"Skylar?" He takes a step forward and I scramble backwards not even breaking eye contact which eventually causes me to loose my balance and tumble to the ground.

"D-don't come any closer," I stutter as I try to find my footing but am so overcome by this unsettling feeling around this man that I can't complete the simplest tasks such as standing up.

"Skylar, there's nothing to be scared of, I'm Connor, Shawn's bodyguard," he tries to soothe me, continuing to take slower steps towards me.

"I said don't get any closer!" I scream, trying to be brave when I know my voice is cracking and tears are forming.

"What's going on out here!?" Shawn bursts through the bathroom door in only a towel with slicked-back, wet hair, I can tell he just ran out of the shower with his soaked body from the sound of water running coming from behind him.

"Shawn," I breathe, launching myself off the ground and into his arms, still warm and wet from the hot water. I don't mind though, all my fears just disappeared once Shawn was there. It's strange to have this instant relief, especially around a male. I've never felt it before and it's as if my mind is cleared and all my senses are back.

"I don't know what just happened," I sob, quietly into Shawn's bare chest. "When I woke up and nobody was there I thought I was alone and that Carter was coming for me. All I could think about was Carter. Shawn, what's happening to me?"

"Shh," he soothes, stroking my knotted hair and holding me tightly, "Carter can't get to you anymore, he'll never lay a hand on you ever again, but you have to know that part of the reason he can't touch you is because Connor is going to protect you as well." I'm pretty sure Shawn put the pieces together, from me crawling backwards on the ground, cowering in fear and Connor standing over me, he probably got the picture.

"Connor is a good guy, Skylar and he's not going to hurt you," he whispers in my ear, the kindness in his voice, comfort me immediately and the tears come to a quick halt, leaving a defining silence only interrupted by my occasional sniffles.

"Can someone please explain to me what just happened?" Connor finally asks. Shawn's about to answer him but I stop him.

"I can tell him, thanks though." And that's how I started explaining to Connor how what just happened was a panic attack and the reason for it.

I hadn't realized that I had panic attacks until last night when I was thinking about all that's happened since my sisters death months ago. It was one of those mind blowing moments when you just sit there and think 'wow, plot twist' even though this shouldn't have been a surprise to me, I should of seen this coming. Everything hits you harder when you put a label to it. Like 'my sisters dead' or 'he's in jail because of you,' that kind of thing.

"I'm sorry Connor," I finish, "for what happened just now, I can't really control my actions in a panic attack even if I know what's right and wrong. Hopefully, it won't happen again."

"It's totally fine, don't worry about it," he answers, pity evident in his voice and that very look in his eyes makes my blood boil.

"Great, now that that's all settled, I believe we're going to Harry Potter World today?" Shawn changes the subject. As if on cue, the bus rolls to life, knocking all of us a bit off balance but Shawn regains his composure before we both fall.

"Yay!" I cheer, "We absolutely need to buy Hogwart outfits with wands and everything and strut our stuff!" I joke, but Shawn thinks it's an actual great idea and starts to make my joke into a real plan, insisting that it'll be legendary. Oh lord, what have I gotten myself into.