Home (HE/HIM VERSION)

20

Bucky spent a long time sat opposite the border. A long time.

He stared at it for hours on end, causing the sea of static before him to begin to blur into different shapes and faces. Each tiny piece of static was one of y/n's memories, good or bad, and if someone stared for long enough, they could see tiny flashes of them.

Everything about Westview was intricately designed, like someone was piecing together a shattered vase. Every dent, every scratch, every delicate design, all stuck together by a layer of thick superglue. Far too thick for the shards to ever touch again, and far too thick for it to ever feel the same again.

Coming to terms with it all was a tough process.

Bucky was dead. Outside of Westview, he wasn't real. Y/n's magic was the only thing keeping him alive. Yet it was also y/n's magic that was keeping everybody hostage. He had done this all for him. All of it for a lost soulmate.

The fact that y/n couldn't live without him was heartbreaking. It filled him with an unimaginable amount of guilt, not only because he knew he'd have to let go again, but because a good man was supposed to prepare the people around them for their deaths. It was a very old-fashioned moral, but one that Bucky had always held close.

Bucky didn't want y/n to grieve again, nor did he ever want to see him cry. They were happy in Westview. But deep down in his heart, the super soldier knew it wasn't right. And whilst y/n never had the chance to start a family, settle down, or grow old, the poor people in Westview did. They had lives, jobs, families, and minds of their own.

His goodbye was way overdue. He just wished that they'd been able to have more time together.

By the time Bucky stood up, the time on his watch displayed a clear five-in-the-afternoon, meaning that the fundraiser was starting to get packed away.

He took one final look at the border before he began to make his way back toward the centre of the town. There was no point in going back to the house, y/n wouldn't be there. Jack was the head of the town committee, he'd probably be there until the very end.

Bucky would do anything for y/n to have the goodbye he deserved, and if that meant acting oblivious and going along with the fantasy world he'd created, then so be it. He deserved it, especially after everything he'd been through.

*****

Back at the church, y/n and Wanda were still sat in the same place. Side by side, but not touching at all. They'd talked for a while, but had fallen into a solemn silence.

Y/n was sat with her elbows on his knees again, staring down at his hands as he idly picked at his nails. He knew he had to let go, but he wasn't ready. They'd had their whole lives planned out. They were finally going to be able to grow old together. They were finally going to have some peace after years and years of fighting. But now it was all gone.

"I never meant to hurt anyone." He murmured in a shaky tone, eyes, glued to his hands. "The first night here was the first night that Bucky had slept peacefully. No nightmares, no worries, no stress." Y/n hummed with a sad smile, looking over at Wanda for a brief moment. "I thought that I was doing something good. I thought that if he couldn't remember anything, he could finally have that peace he always wanted. But all I did was scare him-" He cut himself off as tears begun to burn at his eyes again. He felt so stupid for letting this all happen. It wasn't supposed to cause any harm.

"And now he's not even talking to me... And you want me to close the borders in just a few hours. How can I have a nice goodbye with someone that doesn't even trust me anymore?" Y/n hissed brokenly, squeezing his eyes shut with a heavy breath as tears begun to fall again. God, he didn't think he had any tears left.

Wanda let out a heavy sigh, eyes full of sympathy and guilt as she watched y/n start to crumble again. She felt terrible, but Wanda was only trying to help. If y/n didn't close it himself, either she'd have to step in, or the military would, and that wasn't fair. Wanda didn't know a single person that had fully healed from the Thanos fight yet, and even if y/n was hiding it, he wasn't an exception. He was in no fit state to be fighting anyone.

"Come here..." Wanda whispered in a gentle tone, setting her hand on y/n's shoulder as she pulled him down so that y/n's head rested on his lap. Ideally, Wanda wanted to hug him, but it was obvious that y/n wasn't a big fan of eye contact right now, and if he wanted to stare forward, he could stare forward. "Whatever happens, it's going to hurt, and you know that. This is your shot at a peaceful goodbye." She murmured, tangling a hand into y/n's hair so she could begin to massage the gel out of his timely hair, just wanting him to feel as comfortable as possible.

"Besides, I'm sure he'll come around eventually." Wanda hummed, listening to y/n sniffle and try his hardest to hide the fact that he was wiping his tears. "Do you remember when you two used to have these massive screaming matches whilst on missions? You'd bicker more than Steve and Tony. I used to prepare myself for a breakup all the time, and then I'd walk into the lounge later on, and you two would be cuddled up on the couch as if nothing happened." Wanda said with a small grin, her smile only seeming to widen as she heard a sad laugh come from y/n.

"God, I remember when you convinced Peter to stick magnets on Bucky's arm." She laughed, shaking her head fondly at the sweet memory. "Bucky was so angry... The poor kid was scared for his life! He hid on the roof for hours, convinced that Bucky was still mad at him. And there you were, 'Mister Goody Two-Shoes' in Bucky's eyes, even though you couldn't stop laughing."

Y/n couldn't help but smile, laughing at the fond memory as he wiped at his tears. They'd had some good times. Really good times. But, as y/n continued to think about those fun times with Bucky and Peter, his expression started to falter again.

"Does Peter know I didn't mean it?"