𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐈𝐒𝐇// 𝐄𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐗𝐎𝐂

𝐱𝐱𝐯. ✭ 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟑

JUNE, 1972; CHANCE

"Muh-muh?" I called out for my mother. The carpet was rough. Bristly against my skin. "Muh-muh?" Voices echoed from the door at the end of the hall. A yellow light shined from the crack between the floor and the door.

Where was Mama?

This house was strange. Different. Small. Weird smells stung at my my nose, biting at it. I was sitting on the floor. Cold. I wanted Mama.

"That's what I said! And then she didn't have the God damn audacity to tell me." A man was mad. Angry. But happy. Angry happy. His voice bellowed from the door so far away from me. "Stupid fucking cunt!"

"Muh-muhhh!" A cry drew out from my small chest, choking up my throat. "Muh-muh!"

Why wasn't she coming?

The living room I had been left in was musky, dank, and dirty. Bottles were strewn across the crusty carpet. Finished cigarettes were underneath the couch. It was so dark. So dark. No Mama. No Daddy. No one. All alone. Sweet little baby forgotten.

"Misty, shut that God damn kid up, will you?!" The man wasn't angry happy anymore. Just angry. Shadows glid around from underneath the door.

"Donny, it's okay." Mama soothed through a slur. "She's fine. Let's relax. You got the needles?"

Background Music
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-Death With Dignity by Sufjan Stevens-
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"Shut the kid up, Misty." He snarled, his footsteps thudding toward the door. Jiggling the doorknob open roughly, the man made of evil and shadows threw my mama out of the room. She stumbled onto the floor, falling face first with a loud thump. "Go! Come back when she's quiet."

"Donnie..." Mama crawled back up to her feet, wavering around as she stood. Leaning herself against the yellowing wallpaper. "Come on, Man, she's...fine. Peachy keen."

"Muh-muh!" I whined, toddling over as I wiped my wet face off. "Where? Where...was...you?" It was a hard to talk in sentences as a toddler. Broken language was my specialty.

"Go!" Cast away from the man's mean voice, Mama staggered over to me. The door had been slammed shut on her. She had to take care of me to get her fix.

"Come here, Big Girl. Come to Mama." She picked me up, resting me on her hip. "There you are, Chance. Don't cry, Baby. Big girls don't cry. You're a big girl."

"Muh." Whimpering, I stuck my thumb in my mouth and clung onto her. "Muh-muh."

"S'okay, Chancie." Adjusting me to better fit her body, she walked over to the kitchen. Mama found her way to a cabinet. The door had been ripped off of it, leaving it with only its hinges. Maybe the man did it. "We'll just give you a little medicine and you'll take a little nap, okay, Bug?"

"Okay, Muh." Her shirt was soft, her skin sweaty. That touch of her's was warm and tender. I craved it, burying my head into her shoulder.

She grabbed a big bottle from the cabinet. Amber liquid sloshed around inside, it's spicy scent wafting out when the cap was twisted off. Carrying me over to the closet in the hallway, she set me down inside of it.