Life Of A Single Mom

Chapter 15: Keith

Keith.
Now that man right there was a whole different story.
He had been trying to get with me ever since I was pregnant with my second son, but as usual, I played hard to get. I mean, I wouldn’t be V if I didn’t. What fun is an easy woman? Not me. If a man wanted me, he was going to work for it every single time.
Plus, I needed to know if he could handle me.
Not just the pretty, fun version either.
I’m talking about all my personalities. The loving me. The distant me. The emotional me. The “leave me alone before I lose my mind” me.
Because baby, I came with layers.
What I failed to realize though…
was that I had finally met my match.
And Lord, when I say my life took a turn for the worse after that man entered it…
I mean it.
Keith was tall, dark-skinned, handsome — about 6’2” with the type of looks that made women stare too long when he walked into a room. He carried himself with confidence, dressed well, smelled good, and knew exactly what to say.
On the outside, he looked like every woman’s dream.
But behind closed doors?
That man had a temper straight from hell.
Quick to anger. Quick to snap. Quick to tear me down emotionally.
The relationship became toxic faster than I could process it. Every argument turned into chaos. The verbal abuse slowly turned emotional, and before I knew it, I was stuck in a cycle I kept trying to convince myself would get better.
And somehow in the middle of all that…
I ended up pregnant again.
But I lost the baby.
And honestly?
That situation broke me in ways I still can’t fully explain.
Part of me was devastated because no mother wants to lose a child. No matter the circumstances, that pain sits differently. But another part of me felt relieved, and admitting that out loud filled me with guilt.
The loss took a serious toll on me mentally.
Depression wrapped around me so tightly I barely recognized myself anymore. Everything irritated me. I cried constantly. Some days I didn’t even want to be touched or spoken to. And for a short period of time, I struggled being emotionally present for my kids too.
That’s something people don’t talk about enough.
Depression doesn’t always look like laying in bed all day. Sometimes it looks like surviving while secretly falling apart.
But eventually, I forced myself to shake it off because no matter how broken I felt, I still had beautiful babies depending on me to keep going.
Meanwhile Keith?
None of it seemed to affect him the way it destroyed me.
And little did I know while I was grieving…
he had another baby on the way with somebody else.
Can we say heartbroken all over again?
It felt like my life kept repeating the same painful cycle over and over. Different man, same betrayal.
And honestly, after a while I stopped being angry at the other women because the problem clearly wasn’t them.
It was the type of man I kept choosing.
That realization hurt the worst.
Why did I always fall for toxic love? Why did chaos feel familiar? Why did I keep trying to fix men who were determined to break me?
I had all these questions and absolutely no answers.
But wanna know the craziest part?
I still stayed.
Yep.
Stayed right there looking foolish.
When I think back on it now, I swear I should’ve had a flashing sign over my head saying:
“DUMMY.” “STUPID.” “PLEASE WAKE UP.”
Because baby, the red flags weren’t just waving anymore…
they were practically having conversations with me at that point.