Life Of A Single Mom

Chapter 21

I was sick to my stomach after that conversation with Micah.

Not just hurt…

betrayed.

Because out of everybody, he knew my story. He knew every heartbreak, every toxic relationship, every tear I cried over men who played with my heart. He was the one who always talked me through my pain, always showed up when life knocked me down.

So for him to turn around and hurt me too?

Yeah… that hit differently.

My emotions were everywhere. One minute I wanted to scream, the next minute I would cry. Then part of me wanted to fight, and another part wanted to throw my hands up and say “fuck everybody.”

Weeks passed after that, and suddenly my body started feeling off.

I was constantly tired. Weak at work. Couldn’t keep food down. All I wanted to do was sleep.

One of my homegirls ended up taking me home early because I looked so bad. On the drive back, she started joking around saying,

“Girl, let me find out you are pregnant again.”

And instantly…

I started crying.

Pregnancy honestly hadn’t even crossed my mind at first because it had been weeks since me and Micah slept together, and I hadn’t touched anybody else after him. But once I sat back and really thought about it, every symptom lined up perfectly.

I asked her to stop at the store so I could grab a test and some medicine, hoping maybe it was just stress or exhaustion instead.

But deep down?

I already knew.

And Lord knows I prayed the entire way home.

Because at that point, it felt like every time life forced me to sit still and reevaluate myself, pregnancy was somehow attached to it. Almost like God kept trying to slow me down long enough to hear Him, but I refused to listen.

I got home and did what I always did:

took the test… left it sitting in the bathroom… and avoided looking at it.

Didn’t matter how many times I’d done this before — I always dragged out the moment because fear never got easier.

Eventually, I finally looked.

And in big bold letters the test read:

PREGNANT.

I just broke down crying.

Because here I was…

about to become a mother of six kids within less than a decade.

And all I could think was how I kept searching for love in broken places while life kept forcing me to slow down and heal.

Later that day, I reached out to Micah telling him we needed to talk. Part of me considered handling everything alone without saying anything, but at the end of the day, who was I to take that choice away from him?

The problem was…

Micah didn’t respond until almost a week later because he had been spending time with his girlfriend.

And when his name finally popped up on my phone, my stomach instantly dropped.

Because no matter how hurt I felt, part of me knew this conversation was about to destroy somebody else’s happiness too.

When we finally talked, I told him everything.

And baby…

the response I got crushed me.

“Oh, it’s not mine. I don’t think I can have kids because I haven’t had one yet.”

I stared at my phone in disbelief.

Like WHAT?

Sex leads to children. Just because it hadn’t happened before didn’t mean it couldn’t happen now. The logic made no sense, and honestly, I felt insulted more than anything.

I was furious.

Not just because he doubted me, but because this was somebody I had loved quietly for years. Somebody I trusted emotionally. Somebody I genuinely believed was different.

And now here he was making me feel small too.

Still, I agreed to take another test in front of him because like most men, he needed visual proof before reality fully clicked in. And honestly? I had no problem proving somebody wrong.

So I took another test.

Positive. Again.

And instead of stepping up the way I hoped he would…

Micah asked me to get an abortion because he didn’t want to lose his relationship.

That moment shattered something inside me.

Because after all the years of him treating me gently, protecting my feelings, making me feel safe… I never expected him to ask me to sacrifice something I personally didn’t believe in just to keep his life comfortable.

But despite the heartbreak, I stood firm.

I knew where I stood when it came to that decision, and nobody was changing my mind.

Eventually, his girlfriend found out everything anyway because apparently she had been watching my social media quietly the whole time.

And just like that…

their relationship ended.

And honestly?

By then, I didn’t even care anymore.

I was emotionally exhausted from carrying everybody else’s feelings while trying not to drown in my own.