Life Of A Single Mom

Chapter 16

Me and Keith became one of those off-and-on couples after I found out about the new baby.
One minute we were good. The next minute we hated each other.
And honestly, deep down I held resentment toward the other baby mama too. Not because she owed me loyalty, but because in my mind she knew he was dealing with somebody already. So I kept asking myself:
Why come back now? Why reopen that door? Why step back into the picture after leaving him in the first place?
But truthfully, those were questions I never actually asked out loud. I just let them eat me alive silently.
Eventually, her baby shower started approaching, and Keith invited me to come. He swore up and down there was nothing going on between them anymore and that he wanted me there to prove it.
But my spirit kept telling me to stay home.
And one thing about me? My gut has never failed me.
So I stayed my ass right at home.
Something about the situation screamed messy, and I had enough stress already. Plus, why would I purposely walk into drama while somebody else was pregnant? Couldn’t be me.
A couple days later, pictures from the shower started floating around online.
And baby…
the way they were posing together, you would’ve thought they were one big happy family.
The pictures pissed me off instantly.
Of course Keith came with excuse after excuse.
“They made me take pictures.” “I didn’t even wanna do all that.” “You know how family is.”
Whole time I’m sitting there thinking:
Boy, you are a grown man. Ain’t nobody forcing you to do nothing you don’t wanna do.
But as usual, I listened anyway.
That man could sell water to a fish with the amount of lies he told.
About a month and a half later, his daughter was born.
And when I say that baby girl was BEAUTIFUL…
Lord.
Chunky cheeks, pretty little face — I fell in love with her instantly like she belonged to me. I’ve always had a soft spot for kids, no matter the circumstances.
Keith eventually called me asking if I could bring him food at the hospital and come see him since her mother had a C-section and he was staying there helping out.
And guess what my dumb self did?
Went.
Because in my mind, that’s what a good girlfriend was supposed to do.
Weeks later, after barely hearing from him again, Keith popped back up with another list of excuses. And just like always…
I believed him.
At this point, the red flags weren’t even red anymore — they were flashing neon signs directly in my face.
I swear I needed somebody standing beside me every day yelling:
“Bitch, WAKE UP.” “Please stop being stupid.”
But instead, I stayed stuck in the cycle.
Eventually Keith moved in with me, and in my head I convinced myself that meant I finally had him to myself.
Baby…
LIES.
Not long after that, I found out I was pregnant again.
Keith was excited this time around. He kept saying God gave us another chance after losing the last baby and swore this pregnancy was going to be his son.
And crazy enough…
when I finally went to the doctor, my due date ended up being the exact same day his daughter had been born.
Now tell me that ain’t a coincidence.
Months later, we found out he was right — it was another boy.
At that point I just laughed because clearly life had jokes.
All these boys and only one little girl running the house.
But unlike my other pregnancies, this one was terrifying from the start.
I stayed sick constantly. In and out the hospital. Weak all the time.
I honestly didn’t know whether I was coming or going most days.
Then things got even worse.
I ended up needing surgery while I was still pregnant. During everything, I went into early labor, started hemorrhaging badly, and lost so much blood doctors were genuinely worried about me.
For a moment…
I almost lost my life carrying my son.
They had to rush me back into surgery to stop the bleeding and stop my labor because he still needed more time before entering the world.
I spent almost a week in the hospital receiving blood transfusions because the situation had gotten that serious.
And somehow…
my baby boy stayed strong through it all.
He held on for two more months before finally making his arrival.
And when I finally saw him?
He was absolutely perfect.
Handsome. Healthy. Worth every painful moment.
But wanna know the saddest part about all of it?
During one of the hardest moments of my life…
Keith was nowhere to be found.
As usual, he was out doing what he wanted while I was fighting for my life and carrying his child.
And that’s when reality finally started sinking in:
I had been holding on to somebody who would never love me the way I deserved to be loved.