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𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐘.
❛ chapter seven ❜
𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐲.
𝐤𝐢𝐲𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯.
"mr. astrella, please see me after class."
i glance up from the notes on my computer at the sudden interruption to the pure silence in the classroom from my teacher. a bit confused as to what i could've possibly done, i nod, trying to recount any assignments i may've missed or not turned in.
"oouu- look who's in trouble."
i turn around, my eyes landing on eric, who's smile i don't necessarily care to return but i allow it for the sake of being polite. i'm not sure i really favor him. even though he's almost always present with me and darian, we haven't spoken one on one since that night he tricked me into taking shots thinking it was water, playing it off as a joke that i.. don't find funny.
i don't like alcohol; i never have and i never will. i'll never be able to- not after watching my father deteriorate into less than a person after nearly drinking himself to death. ironically, that is one of the parts that i do remember; him coming home late and my mother screaming at him while me and majime listened behind the door of our bedroom.
majime.
the mere thought submerges my conscious into a momentary pain that makes my body still when i'm suddenly interrupted.
"..did you hear me?"
i turn back around, glancing back at the somewhat embarrassed seventeen year old who must've thought i was ignoring him and though that's fairly accurate, i didn't really mean any harm. perhaps that's why the mildly irked look of disappointment set upon his features condemns me and makes me feel bad like it always does; kindness is my weakness. i can't just leave somebody crying or feeling bad because of me- it doesn't sit right in my soul, hence why i try my best to just stay out of trouble because in the end, i'll probably end up apologizing. i know it's bad but, it's been engrained into me from the very start and it's never easy to completely deroot a plant from a garden.
"i'm sorry, what did you say?" i ask, presenting a simple smile as i gaze over at the older. "i was zoning out."
"you do that a lot." he points out before he chuckles a bit. "..it's sort of cute."
i can't help to pause at what he says, blinking over at him with a bit of curiosity as to what it is he means. sure, i could take it literally- but i prefer not to when he could just be teasing me or being rude and i'm already tired from helping my mother all night so i don't have the energy to guess. i guess i'm not really like other teens my age in that prospect; of course, i find people cute and attractive- to die for even, but i've never exactly devoted my energy to anything having to do with romance or that sort of connection. i've just been too busy; busy taking care of my mother, busy working, busy thinking.. too busy.
even so, the boy whom simply offers a bit of a grin is obviously attractive; cute even, so i can't help the way my heart races in my chest- even if he's a man too. that's another thing i haven't given any thought to either- my sexuality. i'm just not sure if i can see myself under any of the labels somebody else presents to me, telling me to choose so that people can better access me as a person.. i'd rather not choose. i can't see myself with a man, just like i can't see myself with a woman.. so i guess technically i could see both..?
"thanks." i accept, ignoring the fact that i had once again zoned out before he nods, obviously a bit hesitant as he tries to approach his next subject.
"uh.. yeah, so i was wondering if you wante-"
"wanted to do something with us!" darian chirps suddenly, looking up from his seat behind me next to eric with a largely enthusiastic smile that for some reason, completely robs eric of his. still, i can't help but to giggle at darian's naturally happy nature that's always a ray of sunshine, constantly shining every single day. "we needa all hangout. that would be fun- like go to the movies or some shit. or.. i don't know. just something."
"that sounds fun." i smile, closing my computer as the end of class obviously begins to near us. "just let me know what day so i can check my schedule."
"you got a job?" darian asks me, joining in as he also begins to shove his things carelessly into his black backpack. "why ain't you tell me? where you working at?"
"i forgot." i confide with a small laugh, embarrassed by my own fault. "i'm a.. cleaner? i don't really wanna say maid, but i'm kind of a maid."
"really?" eric joins in, leaning his head against his palm as he eyes me from his seat with the same smile that makes me feel some type of way- odd. "that's really mature for your age-"
"hell yea." darian agrees, furrowing his eyebrows together in a comical expression that makes me laugh once again. "i could not be doing that shit. how much it pay?"
"twenty an hour i think." i recall, zipping up my backpack.
"damn- you sure you ain't sell your soul or something?"
my mind temporarily blanks, dwelling on my first day of work and i can't help the chills that erupt down my back as i manage half of a smile for the boy who watches me in obvious confusion.
"i hope not." i mutter, immediately discarding the thoughts of the weird boy that seem to plague my mind. i can't lie and say i know what to do about that; it seems that he's set on some unknown motive involving me that i'm not sure of, but i know it can't be good. nothing good can come from someone who so clearly made his hate obvious for me despite the fact that i've done nothing but exist. the mere thought of those cruel, dark eyes makes me feel nerve, racing quickly back and forth in my chest in a sort of rush i've never felt before.
"damn.. i was just kidding." darian says reluctantly, obviously having had taken note of my shift in mood.
"oh, no-" i quickly scramble, searching for words to say in order to alleviate the guilt on his face. "it wasn't you! i just.."
"..zoned out." eric finished with a nod that seems to add confidentiality, as if he knew exactly what i was doing. a laugh escapes my lips at the way he quickly de-escalates the situation, allowing me to take a deep breath before the bell that screams our release to lunch finally rings.
"guys, wait for me real quick." i excuse before walking up to the teachers desk who is obviously expecting me, shuffling papers together with a smile. "uh, did i do something?"
"quite the opposite." the woman with long, red hair says with a smile before handing me the stack of papers from off her desk. "you are friends with one of my students, mariano lucciano right?"
friends?
