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𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐘.
❛ chapter two ❜
𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐨'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯.
he hasn't changed- not one bit.
he's still the same, scared child and perhaps that's what causes my hand to go against me and release him. my eyes watch as he sinks to the ground and once again, the somewhat oppressive anger i just broke away from swells in my chest so deeply that i walk past the crying boy lest i do something stupid.
the buzzing noise in my head is deafening, and unlike usually the drugs do nothing to silence them; nothing to give me a momentary glimpse of peace- like i had before he fucking ran into me. instead, now it's screaming- now they are screaming my cowardice, my anger.. my oddly unshakable feeling of dissatisfaction.
back then, you used to wipe my tears.
as if a reflex, my jaw tightens from even a speckle of a memory i've worked hard to bury behind my conscience, like all the other ones i shared with him.
when he left, it was hard- at first.
my misery overwhelmed me and there was nothing i could do about the constant pictures of us that played over and over in my head but i no longer had access to creating. it was as if my mind was teasing me until i finally expelled every trace of that little boy who followed me around everywhere and replaced it with hate.
i hate him.
"mariano."
for a moment, my thoughts divide and i glance over my shoulder at my cousin, rubbing my eyes hard.
"hm?" i ask mateo, who stares at me with a slightly irritant glint in his eyes, but does nothing to show that he is angry. instead, he keeps rational even when his emotions get the best of him and that's why i need him by my side; unlike me, he strongly disregards being reckless and is actually able to stay away from it.
"did you really have to do him like that?" he questioned in annoyance, slightly furrowing his brows. "he is not even to your shoulder."
i can't help but to find the statement comical, and for a moment i lose myself in the amusement of the fact that he did not grow one bit. instead, he's still that same skinny boy whom one must look down to address with the same mop of black hair- and the same buzz of unfiltered innocence in his eyes.
i draw my focus back onto mateo, ignoring the racing feeling in my chest. it's almost as if i have to catch myself; bring myself back from the hazy pictures of his undoubtedly pretty face before i drown in it.
"if he is not even to my shoulder, the dumb shit should have seen me very clear." i point out despite the fact that he is undoubtedly right. it wasn't as if it was my intent to use such.. dramatic tatics but then again, i wasn't exactly thinking right either.. or at all. "go back to class. one of us has to show up."
"i will not," he scoffs, crossing his arms. "i did not want to come today anyways. your dumbass just made it worse."
"sorry." i grin. "not my fault."
"it clearly is. your ego is too big, you narrcistic piece of shit."
"w-"
"and you need to stop doing drugs," mateo cuts me off. "you act like you are a child."
"sorry teo. forgive me." i plead mockingly, despite the fact that he knows i'm far from sorry.
"take me to the party and i will." he proposes, causing me to scoff in annoyance. high-school parties are immature and much too full of drunk teenage girls for my liking; not to mention, i hate how loud everything is but i guess for my little cousin i'll tolerate it.
"i guess." i muttered. mateo still glances over at me, his oval-shaped dark brown orbs screaming what brings a rare silence over both of us because i know exactly what it is he intends to say. even though he may be calmer than me, his need for confrontation is one he can't control; it runs in his blood.
