Infinies

(EN) (IN)SANE

"Je me souviens très vaguement de cette histoire. Je m'entrainais à écrire en anglais avant d'entrer à la fac, et c'est donc un pur "freestyle" de 2012."

***

I hear a sound. I open my eyes. Where am I? It's dark. I stand up and go turn the light on. I see my bedroom, my new bedroom. It's not the first night I spend in this huge house. I live here with my brother Elijah. He's 22 year-old. He is 4 years older than me. Our parents died a little while now. Elijah takes care of me from then on. I miss my parents so much. If you lost your parents, you can understand how I'm feeling, but if you didn't then you can't even imagine how horrible it is.

I'm in my bedroom in the dead of night, with the light on, not moving one bit. I don't know what to do. I don't want to sleep. So, after a while, I decide to go and walk through the long corridors of this amazingly huge house. I walk along the walls where I see weird shadows. I'm not scared. I know that they're just all in my head. I come to the end of the corridors, a door in front of me. I open it.

Behind the door are old stairs made of wood. This certainly leads to the attic. I go up the stairs. I turn around because I feel like someone is behind me. It's my brother, he followed me. He must be curious too. He surely wants to know what's in this attic so he goes ahead of me. I go too, on the other side of the attic. I open a big suitcase. I watch a painting that was in the suitcase. I turn toward my brother. He is behind me, hypnotized by something in the suitcase. I don't understand, so I try to find what he's watching like that. I sit in front of the suitcase and I inspect what is in it. There are so many things in it. I finally find what he was gazing at. I take it in my hands. I bring it closer to my eyes. I'm seeing a photograph of me in a white blouse, with other people, wearing the same thing. My brother comes closer to me and puts his hand on my shoulder. He never talks when he knows I'm sad. He just does things like patting my head.

So, I don't understand. Why am I on this photo? I don't remember that. Maybe it's my mother on the photo. Maybe I resemble her so much that we could have been twins. That doesn't sound good. This is me! What the hell? It's me on the photo. How come I... Am I insane? This photo is showing insane people. I look at my brother. He doesn't say anything. I put the photo back on the suitcase, silently. I go down the stairs, thinking about what I just saw. I walk through the corridor, speechless. Then I hear my brother shouting my name behind me: «Mary!" I turn round, scared. He is not here. There's no one behind me. I start to run, frightened. I look behind me while running and I fall. I see shadows approaching. I get up in a second and I run back to my room. I turn the light off and I go to bed.

I can't fall asleep. What happened to Elijah? What is this photo about? We can see me, at my current age. That's impossible. I live with my brother in a huge house and... Wait! My brother wasn't in the picture. It means that he is not in the hospital with the insane people. So, if he is not in the hospital with the insane people and if I am with him, because he was here with me in the attic; it means that I am not in that hospital! I stand up and run to my brother's bedroom. I see the shadows again... Meaning that I may be insane. I stop in the middle of the corridor.

What if I really am insane? Maybe the house is the hospital in reality. Maybe it's all an illusion made by my brain. Maybe I was right: it's all in my head. Maybe my family didn't die. Maybe I invented my family. Do I have a brother?

I walk again. I stop in front of Elijah's door. If he is here, that means that I'm sane. No wait, it may means that I'm insane, because he can be an illusion of mine. Oh god! It's so complicated. Even if I was not insane in the beginning, now I'm going insane...

I put my hand on the door handle and start to turn it. Then I make a pause again. What the hell am I doing? Whether he is there or not doesn't mean I'm sane or not. I take a deep breath and let go of the door handle. I run back to my room again. I can't determine whether I'm sane or not. So let's go to bed. After an hour or two I'm finally able to fall asleep.

I hear a sound. I wake up. It's bright. A man is in my room, I can't see is face clearly but he seems familiar to me. He is wearing something white...

THE END