Noelle | ongoing

Chapter 4

[Noelle]

11 months ago I was in the hospital. I passed out in the bathroom after trying to make myself throw up. It was just 1 month before my birthday and 8 months before I was going to Juilliard. When I woke up in the hospital my parents were with me, they both looked scared, and my sister was trying to catch the next flight back to Seattle from Paris.

I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. I stayed there for 2 weeks, they monitored me the whole time. The nurses had to stay in my room while I ate (unless my parents were with me), and they also had to check the toilet before I flushed. I left the hospital when they got me a room at an eating disorder institution. I spent my birthday there with my parents and Avery. I will never forget the look on Avery's face when she saw how bad I was. She's part of the reason I chose to get better.

I did the rest of my school work there and was let out for graduation, at that point I was there for 5 months, I had a month left and finally got out in July and went home. My parents hovered over me just like they did at the hospital and institution. It was understandable but they could have put some trust in me.

My Dad said he would only let me practice ballet if I went to a support group, So I did, and I only practiced at home while my parents paid a private coach.

Today I go to a new support group since I now live in New York of course. Avery knows I'm nervous so she offered to come with me.

We get to the building, the outside is mirror glass reflecting other buildings in the area and cars on the street. We enter and press the elevator button to go up to the second floor.

"Are you okay?" Avery questions.

I take in a deep breath, "Yeah, I definitely feel better that you're here."

She hugs me.

The elevator doors open and we look for room 103.

Once we find it Avery pulls open the door and we walk in.

"Oh, you're here!"

A lady walks over to me. She has long blonde hair, she's quite tall, brown eyes, and I'd say she's in her late 30s to early '40s.

"Which one of you is Noelle?"

"I am," I slightly raise my hand, "This is my best friend Avery, I hope it's okay that I bought her."

"Of course," she smiles, "Come sit."

The room is honestly comforting. There are couches in a circle together she leads us to.

"Everyone this is Noelle and her Friend Avery."

Bestfriend.

"You guys can sit, and will the rest of you introduce yourselves starting with Ari."

"Hi I'm Ari, I'm 16, and I like to paint."

Everyone introduces themselves and it finally comes to me.

I stand up, "I'm Noelle but I prefer Elle, I'm 18, and I do ballet."

***

The support group was great, everyone was really nice and well...supportive.

Avery held my hand through the whole thing, I will never be able to physically express how much I love her because it is a lot but I hope she knows it.

We're driving to a local coffee shop called 'Gizmo's Esspresso' I love that name. The owners are a really nice couple who named it after their hyper dog Gizmo.