Noelle | ongoing

Chapter 20

[NOELLE]

It's Friday, Hero called me asking if I'm free today for our date, I can't believe I'm saying that. Of course, I told him yes.

Tiara and I talked for an hour on the phone yesterday. She really helps, I miss her. While I was talking to her I was even eating at the same time. She told me that I should sit both of my parents down and tell my Mom how she makes me feel so she can fix her behavior, and that she wants a video call with all of us so she can tell my Mom better ways she can support me.

Sounds good, but is she even gonna take the advice? She doesn't really like being told what to do nor how to parent. Maybe if my dad hears he'll be able to convince her. I'll worry about that when the time comes.

"So where are you two going?" Avery asks.

I shrug my shoulders, "He said it's a surprise but to dress casual."

"Omg, can I dress you? Pleaseeee?"

I sigh, "Sure, why not."

We get from the couch and Avery looks through my drawers and the closet.

She takes a few minutes before she hands me the clothes, "here."

She hands me my dark-washed flared jeans, a navy blue short-sleeve top that's synched in the middle, with a white cami for underneath.

I go into the bathroom and turn on the shower to get in. Once I get out I tightly wrap the towel around my body so it doesn't fall while I do my hair.

My hair is wet from washing it, I have less than an hour until Hero comes. I'm just going to do a slick back with a side part.

I proceed to put the cold gel on my hair brushing it back, my hair isn't thick but it's not thin; somewhere in between. So doing my hair while it's still wet helps and it dries fast.

I tap my phone to check the time.

Shit, he should almost be here. I quickly lotion myself up doing everything I need to do before I get dressed.

I walk out of the bathroom to put on my shoes.

"Aww Jadie you look so cute!"

I smile, "Thank you."

I get up to spray myself with warm vanilla, from Bath and Body Works. Usually, I've been smelling like pina colada, so it's time to switch back to vanilla for fall to be honest.

We hear a knock at the door.

"I GOT IT!" Avery shouts, "Wait, nope your date. I'll let you get it."

She's more excited than I am. I actually think I'm more nervous than excited.

I open the door for Hero, he's wearing black jeans and a cream hoodie with his name embroidered on the corner of it, also you can see the hem of a white tee underneath.

"You look very pretty," he says. "Here I got you these," he hands me...violets.

"Thank you," I smile.

I open the door wider so he can come in while I put the flowers in a vase.

Just as we're about to leave Avery speaks, "Hero."

"Hm," he turns around.

"Don't bring her back too late."

She's such a Mom.

***

After an almost 45-minute drive, we ended up in Staten Island. We're at a pumpkin patch.

Hero gets out of the car coming over to my side to open the door for me. "Thank you," I say.

I haven't been to a pumpkin patch since I was twelve, "So what are we doing here exactly," I ask with genuine curiosity.

"It's almost Halloween so they're having a pumpkin carving contest," he smiles. "We could possibly win and we could possibly not, but I just thought it'd be fun and we'd be able to talk."

"I don't know if you know this Hero, but I'm pretty competitive so we have to win."

"Then I guess we have to win," he chuckles.

Hero and I walk over to the registration table for the contest, we put our names together and grab a ticket. After we do they let us go pick out a pumpkin.

We pick out our pumpkin and go to one of the many carving stations. We start by cutting the top of the pumpkin off to take out the insides.

I stick my hand inside of the pumpkin and instantly pull it back out, "Oh god no, that's gross."

Hero laughs, "Do you want me to take it all out?"

"I got it, I just forgot how mushy and slimy the inside of a pumpkin is."

He smiles at me as I finish emptying the pumpkin, "What?" I nudged him with my shoulder.

"You know...you never told me why you didn't like to be called Noelle, your name."

I sigh, I forgot all about that. I didn't think I'd ever have to explain. "It's not like I hate it, I've been called both Noelle and Elle my whole life with people just rotating between the two, it's just," I pause.

He places his hand on my lower back, "You don't have to tell me if you don't wan-"

"No it's okay If I'm- if we're gonna do this I wanna be open."

He nods, "Okay."

"If I'm being honest the reasoning might seem...stupid or even childish but, when everything started with my disorder and I had quite literally everyone walking on eggshells around me whether it be about how thin I was, or making sure to say the right thing and not trigger me, anytime someone tried to sympathize with me they never used my nickname. They always used Noelle and all I can remember feeling when they said it was guilt and shame. It always seemed like they said it so slowly. After I got out of the institution whenever someone called me Noelle I corrected them to Elle, I did it so much that it finally stuck. So usually when someone says my name it's just a reminder of my lowest point." I felt a tear fall from my eye.

Hero brought his hand up to wipe the tear off my cheek, "I'm sorry." He pulled me into him, I buried my face into his chest.

"I'll start calling you Elle if you want, but I also want you to know that that's not the Noelle I know. The one I know is strong, beautiful, confident, and the best person I've ever laid eyes on."

"So corny," I giggle. "You can keep calling me Noelle, it's different when you say it."

He lets me out of his hug to look at me, he just has such a smug look on his face, "Oh really?"

"Shut up and let's finish the pumpkin." I laugh.

"Yes ma'am."