𝑶𝑵𝑬 𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑺𝑶𝑵.

𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝑰 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖.

                                                                        ✩
I can't believe someone actually finds me interesting!! I smile at my phone. What an interesting way to spend my sunday.

Say, i never got to know more about you.

What are your hobbies, fav movies?

I Paused. Holy crap. What are my hobbies? I barely even explored that part of me. Well i sure like listening to music-wait thats not a hobby, is it? Its already late. I'll just deal with this at school. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are we having lunch again on the rooftop today?" I look up to see the pinkette we all know in love. I nod. "YEsss! COme on we're gonna be late for class." She yelled as she snatched my hand. 

~~~

"Who is thaATtt~~" I stiff up and slowly turn my head around. "N-NO ONE!" I say, holding the phone to my chest. "COme onnn tell me!! I'm your best friend!" "Correction, Friend." "YEAHH" I laugh, as i put my attention back to my phone. What are my hobbies.. Hobbies.. Hobbies.. Hmm. "Oh so thats what you were doing!" "W-WHA!!" "Y/n'S GOT A CRUSHHHHHH FUFUFUFU"

 "EMUU!" I put my hand on her mouth. "NOOOO STOPP I DONT." She smirks.
"Seriously." "Awf okkef left mef go!" I take my hand off her mouth.

 I stare at my screen. How Am i supposed to answer this question?? I start tearing up. I'm such a crybaby. "Aww its okay, y/n. I'm sure they'll love you for you." I freeze. Love me for me? Love me for me? For me? Me? I am built on nothing but depression. I don't even know who I am. I can't even do anything right.

 
All i've done is make people worry, angry and even stressed. I can't even be nice to someone, i'll come across as cringy or weird. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm so tired. Why can't you see that emu..

"H-HEY ARE YOU OKAY? YOUR DRENCHING THE SCREEN. LOOK AT ME-OH WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID??"  "You're right. Someone will love me for me. But who? Not me.. Not my family.. So who? I don't even know who 'me' is. I try and try. I try looking for hobbies and things that interest me. I'm just good for nothing. All I do is drift away to my own world, hoping all my problems would magically fix themselves. I freeze up whenever someone asks what my hobbies are. Or what I do in my spare time. I waste time. Every day is spare time to me. I don't do anything, or have a purpose. I'm just here. Everyday I try to draw, everyday i get angry and throw the drawing out. Everyday I write stories, everyday they turn cringy and i just want to delete the whole thing! I can't do this anymore. I might as well just delete myself! Nobody will ever read my work, heck the story i wrote only has 20 views, AND THEY'RE ALL FROM ME. Nobody even notices me in the halls. I'm just an irrelevant background character. NOBODY EVEN CARES ENOUGH TO CHOOSE ME FIRST. And look at me. Pathetic as ever. Maybe they are right. I am a pick me. I just dump all my problems onto other people hoping they can solve it. Hoping they can take me out. I can't even figure out who I am.. Am I funny? Am I shy? Is my laugh even real? I took that laugh from a childhood friend. Most of the aspects about me are just built on from other people I've met in my life. I'm not original, i'm not smart. I.. i don't even know who i am. I can't."

 
".....Hey, it's okay. It's gonna be okay. I'm here. Cry into my arms if you need to." I immediately crashed into her arms. Sobbing. I'm so tired of this. I hate myself. Why can't I solve any of my problems on my own?? I'm such a pick me. I sob harder. "Nobody." "Hey, it's okay. ITs gonna be okay. You may not know who you are right now. Heck i don't even know. All I know is I'm some outrageous pink haired girl who just tries to make everyone around me happy. And that's okay. You're not gonna know who you are, fresh out of the womb."

 
"People take time. Even years, to focus on themselves. Building up their hobbies again, working on themselves. And that's okay. I believe that you will find yourself soon. And.. I'll be here every step of the way."